Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors

Economic pressure leads to anxiety, so some

people

believe that joy is brought by high income, while other

people

state that other factors will

also

bring

happiness

This

essay will investigate both views but believes the latter opinion. On the one hand, there are two reasons why being rich can become happy. One reason is that economic success can allow

people

to purchase anything they like. As they are wealthy, they do not have economic pressure and they do not have to worry about financial issues. They can simply purchase anything they like without thinking twice. Another reason is that economic success can allow

people

to undergo different experiences. When

people

are wealthy, they can buy experience

Change preposition

show examples

participating

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

interesting activities that can bring

happiness

For example

, they can travel to

Antarctic

Correct article usage

the Antarctic

show examples

or national parks to enjoy the stunning view.

On the other hand

, there are two reasons why

money

is not the factor that affects

happiness

Firstly

, not everything can be bought

Change preposition

with

show examples

money

. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

something that cannot be purchased,

for

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

family’s

Change the noun form

families

family

show examples

accompany and love. Some

people

may be wealthy but unhappy because they prefer spending time with their families. There are so many factors that could bring

happiness

other than

money

such

as friends and families.

Moreover

, having

money

does not give

people

life meaning. Some

people

lose their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

passionate

Replace the word

passion

show examples

after having economic success as they do not have any more life

target

Fix the agreement mistake

targets

show examples

, and

this

may cause them

become

Add the particle

to become

show examples

depressed.

As a result

money

is not the factor that

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

happiness

as there are other factors. To conclude,

although

money

may allow

people

to purchase the thing they want, it is definitely not directly related to

happiness

Submitted by chloelwy3905 on Sun Jul 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Depicted in the flowchart of a report from the university is the process of drinking water with solar panel energy.

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some people think that men and woman have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Many people believe that international tourism has negative implications on their countries. What is the reason for it? What can be done to change the negative attitude towads international tourism?