IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

despite huge improvements in healthcare , the In overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

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In recent years, a growing concern has been evolving around health care. People have mixed views on the reasons
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 degrading health care services. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I will elaborate on the reasons behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 phenomenon and solutions to absolve these challenges. There are many factors that need to be taken into consideration in order to improve medical services.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

First
Add a comma
,First

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First. Consider adding a comma.

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 of off, the labour shortage in
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a sector is more prominent than ever in human history.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many professionals complain that they need to work overtime in order to fulfil their duties. There are many hospitals that cry out for talents and specialists to join them in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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combat.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the limited funds and hardware facilities undermine the capacity of acceptance in hospitals.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many medical institutions need to lower the threshold and hire many unqualified medical professionals. To solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem, there is a couple of options lying on the table.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, experts suggest that local officials should increase the money allocation to the medical industry and increase the salary of medical workers.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, local governments should subsidise medical students as well as encourage students to get involved in medical-related fields. With
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 measures in place, it is anticipated that there will a rise in the number of medical graduates to fill job vacancies. In conclusion, the degrading medical quality is
Change the form of the verb
caused
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Change the form of the verb
caused

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb cause. Consider changing it.

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cause
Correct your spelling
caused
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 by the labour shortage and increasing demands. To solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem, more public funds should go into
medical
Add an article
the medical

The noun phrase medical industry seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 industry.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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