Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that governments should spend more money on education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#education #people #countries #governments #money #adult #population

A section of society holds a belief that every single

youngsters

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youngster

show examples

should have a proper

education

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show examples

any level of studies. In my opinion, better quality pedagogy

are

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show examples

more likely beneficial in generating more intellectual folks for the future. To commence with, nowadays, there are numerous

education

instituitions

Correct your spelling

institutions

from

kindagatens

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kindergartens

to tertiary level. It is undeniable that academic learning is the

first

step to

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succeed

succed

Correct your spelling

succeed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life,

although

several

society

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societies

show examples

argue that

education

just

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is just

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for giving exposure

for

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show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

how life is work. Despite that,

statistically

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,statistically

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almost more than half

billionaires

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of billionaires

show examples

in the world

Correct your spelling

succeed

succed

Correct your spelling

succeed

has a decent academic background,

however

, many people still turn a blind eye to

this

matter as it is nothing vital at all.

On the other hand

, there are copious inhabitants

opine

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who opine

show examples

that

Correct your spelling

governments

government

goverments

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governments

should invest their money for

disable

Wrong verb form

disabled

show examples

folks chiefly

education

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in education

show examples

. It is to give the same equality as well as

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

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for everyone to

futher

Correct your spelling

further

their studies in higher level. The cost might be

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apply

show examples

prohibitive,

nevertheless

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,nevertheless

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it is worth

investment

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investing

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this

is for enhancing the economical developments in the future. Seeing in believing, there will at least a few of these people will lead the country in

few

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a few

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years later. In conclusion,

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show examples

think

education

systems need to be maximized concomitant with our era, to aid

adoloscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

in their learning process.

Submitted by hadamajwad on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that governments should spend more money on education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?