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Band 5

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #aim #development #values
Numerous countries are focused on raising the standard of living through economic development;
however
,
this
 can sometimes lead to a decline in essential social values. I contend that the merits outweigh the disadvantages because the growth of the economy can lead to better infrastructure, even though it can result in
people
 prioritizing wealth over building relationships.
Firstly
, the economic growth of any nation is of utmost priority because it improves the living conditions of the
people
there by
Correct your spelling
thereby
show examples
 allowing them to have a better life.
For instance
, the United States has one of the best economies in the world, and
This
 explains why
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens enjoy basic amenities like
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 access and quality education.
Although
this
 improvement mostly comes at the expense of environmental stability, as industries progress to fuel economic development, pollution levels increase rapidly.
Furthermore
, since economic expansion can bring about job creation and new opportunities for
people
 to thrive, it increases their social status.
Conversely
,
people
 begin to exhibit greediness and the desire to amass wealth,
consequently
 causing traditional values and close-knit family bonds to break.
For instance
,
people
 who focus on financial success, in a bid to command respect from their family and friends,
also
 begin to feel pride in associating with family members who are not of the same social status. In conclusion,
while
 the advantages of Economic progression,
such
 as improved living standards and job creation,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 great;
however
, the drawbacks,
such
 as weak social ties, are a cause of concern.
Submitted by m.bunmifausat on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses one main idea with strong connections to the topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer successfully conveys the complexity of the issue, acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay discusses relevant points about economic development and its impact on social values.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
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