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Band 4

Some people think the developments involving the Internet have brought people closer together while others think that people And communities have become more isolated

#people #developments #internet #communities
It is undeniable That modern technology Has a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 our society in
this
 day and age like
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
However
, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that the usage of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 as a medium
communication
Change preposition
of communication
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 brings people closer while the other argues online addiction Causes Social isolation and confinement. In my opinion, I believed
Internet
 has bridged the gap
of
Change preposition
in
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 communication and
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhanced
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 socialization.
First
Add a comma
,First
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 in foremost, the Existence of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 in our lives,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 people exchange news and know someone's whereabouts easily. It opened the world right in front of us, all the information we needed are just 1 tick away.
Secondly
, during
pandemic
Correct article usage
a pandemic
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 even physical interaction was discouraged if it did not Hinder us to connect with our loved ones. One example, when a family member of mine died we held the funeral virtually. We are able to share our grief and sadness even though We are geographically away from each other.
Thirdly
, Some businessmen are able to make business connections Via zoom meetings and Skype. And some employees are working remotely at home.
On the other hand
 the downside of
this
 aspect some people are addicted to online games and binge-watching television series and they tend to have lesser interaction With their Family members. In ,addition there are instances when a group of Friends dine in the restaurant they are more focused on browsing their phones than having an actual conversation.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 it is
also
 noticed that some employees are distracted from their work because they keep on checking their social media updates. In summary, each individual Has his
own
Correct word choice
or own
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 perspective either to use the
Internet
 for its own advantage or disadvantage. For my
part
Add a comma
,part
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 I stand that
Internet
 Does play an important role in our social life.
Submitted by myapplemail on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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