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Band 4

one of the best way to solve worlds environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel prices. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#worlds #cost #fuel #prices
To begin
 with, as they
say
Add the comma(s)
,say
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fashion
are
Change the verb form
is
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 influenced by culture and tradition but in
this
 day and age
fashion
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 greatly dominated by social media influencers and content creators around the world. Indeed for me, it has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 outcome since it is a sign of modernization as
fashion
 and hairstyle
evolves
Correct subject-verb agreement
evolve
show examples
 to bring out the best look for each individual. In
this
 era, young teens,young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 and other ages are very particular
on
Change preposition
about
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 their facade. They would
spent
Change the verb form
spend
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 lots of money to make a
fashion
 statement, on the way they dress and showcase their branded items. They would usually post
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media and it would catch attention and later on gain
followers
. Once it goes viral everyone wants to imitate and experience
until
Correct pronoun usage
it until
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 it becomes a trend.
For instance
 in Seoul Korea, they are marketing
K pop
Add a hyphen
K-pop
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 bands and it has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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massive
followers
 around the world. Once a particular K-pop band endorses a brand like Louis Vuitton, Fila, Samsung and
haircolors
Correct your spelling
hair colors
 .
Followers
 flock to buy the items online or in retail stores and it's always sold out. Regardless of the price,
followers
are obsesses
Change the verb form
are obsessed
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 to possess the item for their personal satisfaction. Once they wear it,they gained popularity as it became a trend.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
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 goes for Italy wherein luxury brands showcase their seasonal couture, they will invite famous people and
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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 to hype the advertisement and promote their shows.
Followers
 will anticipate and buy their items. To conclude,
Whoever
Change the pronoun
Whomever
show examples
fashion
 icon you want to follow,
fashion
come
Change the verb form
comes
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 and goes. It's
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wear and tear...and the cycle is unending because people need clothes, hairstyles,
haircolors
Correct your spelling
hair colors
, perfumes and a lot more. It is a human physiologic requirement that we need to adapt to feel
secured
Change the form of the verb
secure
show examples
, happy and good inside out.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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