IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people like homeless and unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #aid
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In the modern world, the government should probably face many overseas issues
such
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 as crimes, environmental problems, and so on which might require much financial assistance. Some residents argued that the council needs to use its funds to address the human life standard
such
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 as the homeless and jobless more than the international ones, while I firmly expose that measures, which are related to global ones should be prioritized over the domestic ones. It helps residents have more job opportunities as well as global problem-solving. On the one hand, it doubtlessly hopes that the locally living standard
such
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 as jobs and accommodation should be a crucial focus. It is beneficial to reduce the poverty as well as local crimes. To illustrate, the country leaders in some areas burned a big amount of money to allocate the economy in order to bring the resident’s well-being both physical and mental by being in terms of the social construction which relies on the advancement of the economy. It is clear to see
this
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 in many developed countries, more and more life qualify is satisfying residents.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that sustainable development constitutes the global environment and the local measures simultaneously. With the former purpose, some global campaigns may need financial assistance to implement, recruit many positions and create new genres of jobs.
This
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 will address directly the demands of jobs which resulting personal finance to have accommodation.
Furthermore
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, international aid needs the local councils’ responsibility which aimed personal awareness about what they are facing
such
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 as air emissions, deforestation, natural disasters, and so on. In my perspective, it is efficient for individuals involved in every action in their lives with the government supported by finance and an absence of money. In conclusion,
although
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 transnational support should be executed as a gesture of humanity, I still believe that any government should put the goal of struggling with internal issues in a country to be the top priority.
Submitted by trangngo79 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocating resources
  • social stability
  • economic growth
  • moral obligation
  • global responsibility
  • alleviate poverty
  • essential services
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic interdependence
  • globalized world
  • stabilize foreign markets
  • trade relationships
  • global crises
  • balanced approach
  • pragmatic solution
  • immediate local needs
  • international obligations
  • global cooperation
  • soft power
  • international influence
  • diplomatic relations
  • strategically advantageous
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