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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #drives #people #work #workplace #factors #influence
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Some
people
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 believe that being promoted by your bosses or companies is a way in which
people
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 tend to
work
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 harder and better than before. I think that there are several reasons which can explain
this
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 attitude, but the main one is recognition of their merits.
First
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 of all, when your
work
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 is valued and you are appreciated in your workplace, you are more likely to
work
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 harder and better since you want to demonstrate, to everyone that has faith in you, that you will not disappoint them.
For example
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, if you are a surgeon and your boss gives you a very difficult surgery as a reward, you will study night and day in order to succeed in it;
moreover
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, once you have overcome your boss's expectations, you will try even harder than before to keep up with them.
In addition
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, there are many other factors that have to be taken into consideration
such
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 as the environment, in fact when you
work
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 with
people
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 that you value and are nice to
work
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 with, your workplace becomes like a family.
For instance
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,
people
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 tend to
work
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 the hardest where they have the possibility to thrive and have a wonderful career. It was proven that younger
people
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 tend to choose a job
also
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 based on the employee's intra-relationships since they value more mental health respect to older generations. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 think that
people
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 tend to focus more on their jobs if they have the possibilities to be promoted or to have a wonderful career,
additionally
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 when you
work
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 in a place you like, you will be more driven to be successful.
Submitted by giulia.piacentini1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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