IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
A recent trend in some nations has seen an increasing number of people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
live independently rather than stay with their families.
Although
 there are some benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 aspect, I firmly believe living alone would make detrimental effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 psychological perceptions.
To begin
 with, when young workers choose solo living, they may get to be more free and self-reliant than those who live with family members since they have the freedom to take on their own. They will bear the duty of each choice they make in their life.
For instance
, a young grown-up, who lives alone, must learn to cook, clean the house, and plan his budget, all of which are important life abilities.
Therefore
, they can do whatever they want without the fear of being disturbed/
However
, living alone is having a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations. There are serious problems arising from
this
 trend
such
 as depression.
For instance
, people are spending
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of their time alone at home and lack social values.
Such
 kind of isolation is not healthy and can sometimes lead to depression and anxiety. Apart from
this
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 problems that occurs in one’s life when
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 live alone.
Such
 as, there is no one to help while doing daily chores, it has to be done alone. In conclusion, It has become more popular among
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation to live alone rather than with family. I think
this
 view is useful for bringing freedom way, but, in some cases,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
depression and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
anxiety are detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Submitted by damaspandya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: