t is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages ?

#people #risks #lives

Accepting

uncertainty

is significant for human life in both career and personal aspects. From my point of view,

although

taking

risks

has benefits for

people

like earning

higher

Correct word choice

show examples

money and enhancing their skills, it has some drawbacks which will be discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, one of the advantages of taking

uncertainty

is that the higher

risks

people

take, the greater money they obtain.

In other words

, folks who do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs that have higher

risks

and pressure generally earn more income compared to those careers that encounter less risk.

Moreover

, taking

risks

can push individuals to improve their skills in the long term. To illustrate, when

people

who have no experience in driving are forced to drive a car on the road, they will be able to develop their driving skills rapidly.

Furthermore

, admitting

uncertainty

can lead to a better life.

For example

, when office workers make a high-risk decision to leave their routine job to start their own business, they have the possibility to become successful and have a much

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

salary than their routine work.

On the other hand

, the obvious disadvantage of taking

risks

is that individuals have a chance to

get failed

Wrong verb form

fail

show examples

That is

to say, if folks are beginning to run their business, their business may have the possibility to fail.

As a result

, they will be able to go bankrupt. On top of that, taking

risks

can cause

people

deceased

Wrong verb form

to die

show examples

. In simple terms, the surgeons may make some errors when operating.

As a consequence

, their patient may be passed away. To summarize, taking

uncertainty

provides some advantages and drawbacks, but I strongly believe that the benefits of it outweigh the setbacks.

Submitted by yanaphon.t on Thu Jul 21 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the organization and structure of the essay to ensure a more logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Provide a more comprehensive response by exploring both perspectives of the argument in more detail.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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t is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to an electronic company requesting information about their latest model of digital camera you have seen advertised. Ask about the following items The price and availability of the new camera The exact size and special functions the set have

American film actor John Wayne said: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life." How is it important for individuals and countries to think about the future rather than the present? What’s your opinion?

Some people think that children receive compulsory subjects in local schools, others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Plastic shopping bags are used widely and cause many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?