Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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To begin

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, some claim that

music

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has the power to unite

individuals

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of all ages and cultural backgrounds. It has some advantages and I will agree with

this

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statement and discuss the bullet points in the forthcoming paragraphs.

However

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music

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is like love for all of the

individuals

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People

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like to listen to

music

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with joy, sorrow, and excitement.

Individuals

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of any age a child or an old age person love to hear the voice of their favorite artist. Not only it has been filling the generation gap between the

people

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but it making a bond between them.

For example

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, the Indian national song Vande Mataram is listened to by everyone in the country and it encourages every individual of all age groups to love to Nation.

Moreover

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music

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has the power to heal pain no matter what individual is from which background. It binds the

people

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of every Nation in hospitals,

music

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is used for the patients by Doctors to cure them as early as possible.

Additionally

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, tone unites all cultures together.

For example

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, Hindi songs are loved by foreigners

also

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and they used to enjoy the songs and

also

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learn them.

Along with

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this

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many English songs are beloved by other countries.

Music

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is a powerful tool that binds all cultures

together with

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Unity without any discrimination.

To conclude

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, some suggest that

music

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is a powerful tool for fostering relationships between

individuals

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of all ages and cultures. I agree with

this

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statement as it is true, that

music

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is used by everyone in joy, sorrow, enjoyment, excitement, for work and to cure the

people

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This

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is a Managing tool that binds

people

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together.

Submitted by psingh8059 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay efficiently communicates the power of music in bridging cultural and generational gaps. To further improve, consider adding more diverse examples from various global musical traditions. This could add depth to your argument and make your essay even more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

You demonstrated a good use of paragraphs to separate your ideas which aids coherence. For cohesion, adding a few more linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas could help the flow of your essay. For example, transitioning phrases between paragraphs would smooth the narrative flow.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-formed, effectively introducing and summing up your argument in a compelling manner.

supported main points

You presented relevant examples to support your main points, such as the use of music in hospitals and the universal appeal of songs across cultures, which strengthened the persuasiveness of your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your argument is clear and comprehensive, nicely illustrating your agreement with the statement and demonstrating the unifying power of music.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is important for people to take risks,both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make a difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.