Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

To begin

, some claim that

music

has the power to unite

individuals

of all ages and cultural backgrounds. It has some advantages and I will agree with

this

statement and discuss the bullet points in the forthcoming paragraphs.

However

music

is like love for all of the

individuals

People

like to listen to

music

with joy, sorrow, and excitement.

Individuals

of any age a child or an old age person love to hear the voice of their favorite artist. Not only it has been filling the generation gap between the

people

but it making a bond between them.

For example

, the Indian national song Vande Mataram is listened to by everyone in the country and it encourages every individual of all age groups to love to Nation.

Moreover

music

has the power to heal pain no matter what individual is from which background. It binds the

people

of every Nation in hospitals,

music

is used for the patients by Doctors to cure them as early as possible.

Additionally

, tone unites all cultures together.

For example

, Hindi songs are loved by foreigners

also

and they used to enjoy the songs and

also

learn them.

Along with

this

many English songs are beloved by other countries.

Music

is a powerful tool that binds all cultures

together with

Unity without any discrimination.

To conclude

, some suggest that

music

is a powerful tool for fostering relationships between

individuals

of all ages and cultures. I agree with

this

statement as it is true, that

music

is used by everyone in joy, sorrow, enjoyment, excitement, for work and to cure the

people

This

is a Managing tool that binds

people

together.

Submitted by psingh8059 on Thu Mar 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay efficiently communicates the power of music in bridging cultural and generational gaps. To further improve, consider adding more diverse examples from various global musical traditions. This could add depth to your argument and make your essay even more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

You demonstrated a good use of paragraphs to separate your ideas which aids coherence. For cohesion, adding a few more linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas could help the flow of your essay. For example, transitioning phrases between paragraphs would smooth the narrative flow.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-formed, effectively introducing and summing up your argument in a compelling manner.

supported main points

You presented relevant examples to support your main points, such as the use of music in hospitals and the universal appeal of songs across cultures, which strengthened the persuasiveness of your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your argument is clear and comprehensive, nicely illustrating your agreement with the statement and demonstrating the unifying power of music.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The only way to reduce drug is to legalise the substances and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays , marjority of people died due to over dose of drugs ,however some say that if these substance come under control to legal authority then the rate to drugs must be overcome or reduces . I too agree with this statement and in further paragraphs I will deeply explain my point of view .
6.5
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this?
Undoubtedly, the trend of students opting to take a gap year between completing their secondary education and commencing a university degree is gaining traction. This essay will analyze the perceived benefits and drawbacks of this trend for school graduates. A compelling argument in favor of a gap year is the need for individuals to adequately prepare for higher education. One notable advantage is that many students may encounter financial constraints that hinder them from immediately applying to universities. Moreover, after years of rigorous academic study, some students may feel ill-prepared to face the challenges of university exams, prompting them to seek a period of respite. During this break, they believe they can effectively prepare for the forthcoming academic challenges, thereby improving their chances of gaining admission to their preferred universities and enhancing their employment prospects. However, it is crucial to recognize that poor performance in these exams can l...
6
band
Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?
Living at different points of time in history has its own importance, but some individuals say present is the best time in history to be living. This essay will elaborate on my opinion, followed by the alternative time in the past I would like to live in.
6
band
Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Globalization has had a considerable effect on the world in the last few decades. While some people believe that these effects are all positive it can also be argued that globalization is destroying the identity of many countries in the world. This is because aspects of our lives such as entertainment, communication, products and business are similar in many parts of the world. This essay will argue that globalization is destroying national identity for three reasons.
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.Why might this be the case?What could be the disadvantaged of being self-employed?
In recent times,there has been an increasing trend of individuals leaving high paying jobs at the corporate for freelancing and being self-employed.This could be a result of the rising levels of stress among people.The fact that people would rather be self-employed ,which puts them at a disadvantage as it takes away their guaranteed monthly income and everything solely depends on them, begs for further research on why this is happening.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The only way to reduce drug is to legalise the substances and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.Why might this be the case?What could be the disadvantaged of being self-employed?