IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do we need laws and rules to keep the society function well?

#laws #rules #society #function
We live in an advanced world where people can approach high-tech devices more easily. It seems that we are freer than before,
however
, if there are no respective
laws
 and
rules
 to regulate our activities, freedom will cause chaos. I would like to discuss how the
laws
 and
rules
 are critically important in regulating mobile phones.
Firstly
, smartphones are becoming a necessity for everyone, from the basic function of calling and texting to others, the developers of those gadgets have applied e-wallets, e-billing, etc. Those financial-related businesses require accurate policies to make sure that the companies can keep their customer's privacy and money safe. If there are no specific
laws
 to ensure each deal is safe, some people in those businesses probably will embezzle money from their customers’ accounts, which might cause a financial crisis on a large scale and people will not trust banks anymore.
Secondly
, children are inevitably addicted to electronic products, especially mobile phones which can connect to the internet even without WIFI traffic. If parents do not make a family rule to reduce their screen time, it will be harmful to their bodies physically and mentally, Kids who indulge in visual entertainment will lose their imagination and creativity.
Moreover
, there are a lot of applications for games or videos, if parents do not set a time limit and use keywords to prevent their kids to download applications as they wish, which might cost a lot of money or be impropriate for children, it will influence them in many perspectives.
For instance
, kids will tend to avoid communication in person or fester a bad habit of telling lies. In conclusion, we live in a society relying on various
laws
 and
rules
 to keep everything good and functioning. If someone can’t obey the
laws
 or
rules
, it will impact bad influence and break the system of trust.
Submitted by 1967388549 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: