An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgeries. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
More and more
people
are concerned about their outer image these days, some of whom even go to beauty clinics to alter how their faces or bodies look. There are multiple factors that might drive them to make such
decisions, which I believe could be detrimental. In this
essay, I will focus on the reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon before moving on to its effects on both sides.
Such
beauty chasers might have two primary reasons for making changes to their looks. First off, they may lack confidence in their appearance. For example
, it is common for some beauty lovers to complain about their noses being too big or their eyes being too small, even if they are fine. This
mindset may facilitate them in changing those parts. Another possible reason is to simply have a normal life. This
mainly means the soldiers who have lost a part in the war. Those who have been tremendously wounded need cosmetic methods to fix their look.
Despite the fact that such
surgery may make people
happy and confident, it is harmful most of the time. To begin
with, patients may suffer from post-surgery side effects. This
is because of the unknown long-term effects of some new technologies, which could be irreversible and take years before emerging. Secondly
, those operations may empty their pockets and lower their living standards. Clients may endlessly spend hundreds of thousands on fixing and maintaining their faces, having little budget left for basic needs. Having said that, it is true that such
surgery may bring a brighter future for patients such
as blind people
who would like new eyes installed.
In conclusion, the growing number of plastic surgery customers is not a straightforward issue. Perfectionism and medical needs might be the major reasons why people
choose to have such
operations which may result in sequela and poverty. As far as I am concerned, it is more of a negative tendency than a positive one.Submitted by lizixuan555 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. While the structure is clear, more complex or varied sentences could improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, particularly synonyms for frequently used terms like 'beauty', 'operations', and 'effects', to demonstrate a rich lexical resource.
coherence cohesion
You've done well to introduce the topic, provide a balanced view on the reasons for and implications of cosmetic surgery, and conclude your argument clearly.
task achievement
The essay is logically structured and points are supported with relevant examples. This aids in achieving a strong task response score.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite