IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
In general, to know the person will you should ask them in detail about all the personal
data
. Some folk believe that personal material like hobbies and interests and whether they are married or single may be relevant and useful advice when they apply for jobs. While others disagree.
this
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why personal
data
 is important. It is relevant and useful to add personal material when applying for jobs. More addition, the company or worker prefer to ask for the details of the new employer to know more
data
 about them.
For example
, most companies ask folk if they have children to have a clear picture of whose they accept them. For these reasons, giving complete detail is necessary for every institution.
on the other hand
, some folk see it is not necessary to collect all personal material from the new employment . they think it is unusual
data
, they just collect the necessary details. In order that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the owner or the company boss will miss a lot of
data
.
for instance
, if the worker asks immediately leave because his children are sick it is difficult for the boss to handle the situation because he didn't collect all the personal
data
 from the worker in the beginning. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed the importance of personal
data
 in the workplace. In my opinion, it is good to get as much as you can
data
 from the new employees to know them better.
Submitted by Malakmaloke44 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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