The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days. What extent do you agree or disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In many nations, criminal activities are one of the greatest concerns. Some are of the opinion that enhancing the police force around the city is the best solution to cope with criminals. In my point of view,

while

Linking Words

I believe that increasing the number of cops on the street would eventually decrease the crime rates, cheaper and wiser remedies can be found to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue. Having more human force would surely be effective in the case of reducing criminal attempts around the streets.

This

Linking Words

is to say

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

hiring more policemen would deter people away from committing a crime since they would be scared of serious threats

such

Linking Words

as encountering a cop

while

Linking Words

trying to rob a store.

However

Linking Words

, I am afraid that

this

Linking Words

solution may create a financial struggle for the government since the salaries of

polices

Correct subject-verb agreement

police

show examples

will rise as their number increases.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there can be more logical and economically manageable ways to cope with the crime rates. Technological advances should be taken into consideration in order to fight violations.

For instance

Linking Words

, security cameras can be used more frequently in order to record all the activity

that is

Linking Words

happening on the streets. As we know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

these devices do not only capture pictures and record videos but

also

Linking Words

record voices and recognize faces as well.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a guilty person can easily be located with the aid of these video

cams

Correct your spelling

cameras

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

I agree with the fact that increasing the number of policies would undoubtedly cause a fall in criminal activities, I feel that

this

Linking Words

might cause an economic problem, and more sound solutions can be implemented rather than

this

Linking Words

huseyinemrecan38Mon Jul 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. However, the argument could be further developed by considering and rebutting counterarguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences and transitions to connect ideas more effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The sports center that you regularly visit has a problem with some of its equipment. Write a letter to the center manager. In your letter •tell them about the problem; •describe how it has affected you; •explain why it should be fixed soon.
I am writing this letter to inform you about our organisation’s equipment quality issue.
7.5
band
⚪️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
Due to technological advancements, many people nowadays prefer to watch television, movies, and other entertainment alone. Certainly, such a predilection has advantages and disadvantages. Though this approach has many advantages, I feel the disadvantages outweigh them. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the issue and explain why I believe in the latter.
4.5
band
Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Global citizens throughout this planet have a tendency to take beneficial features of high-tach facilities in order to maintain contact with friends or relatives, moreover is get latest data through online newspaper. This writer is completely agrees with the mentioned viewpoint and will explain why during the essays.
5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger childern ). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community service as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of colleges are already providing opportunities to gain work experience , however these are not compulsory . In my opinion , sending students towork in community services ia a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable skills
5.5
band
Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experienc
It is often believed that it is the government's responsibility to take care of seniors after their retirement by providing financial support while some people are pessimistic about this, thinking it is the individual responsibility to save on their own. I partially support the latter, for growing expenses for other areas including food and education make it difficult for the authority to support seniors regardless of the fact their longevity leads to the shortage of their savings.

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days. What extent do you agree or disagree ?

The sports center that you regularly visit has a problem with some of its equipment. Write a letter to the center manager. In your letter •tell them about the problem; •describe how it has affected you; •explain why it should be fixed soon.

⚪️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger childern ). To what extent do you agree or disagree?