The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. What extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many nations, criminal activities are one of the greatest concerns. Some are of the opinion that enhancing the police force around the city is the best solution to cope with criminals. In my point of view,
I believe that increasing the number of cops on the street would eventually decrease the crime rates, cheaper and wiser remedies can be found to tackle
issue. Having more human force would surely be effective in the case of reducing criminal attempts around the streets.
is to say
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hiring more policemen would deter people away from committing a crime since they would be scared of serious threats
as encountering a cop
trying to rob a store.
, I am afraid that
solution may create a financial struggle for the government since the salaries of
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will rise as their number increases.
On the other hand
, there can be more logical and economically manageable ways to cope with the crime rates. Technological advances should be taken into consideration in order to fight violations.
For instance
, security cameras can be used more frequently in order to record all the activity
that is
happening on the streets. As we know
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these devices do not only capture pictures and record videos but
record voices and recognize faces as well.
, a guilty person can easily be located with the aid of these video
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. In conclusion,
I agree with the fact that increasing the number of policies would undoubtedly cause a fall in criminal activities, I feel that
might cause an economic problem, and more sound solutions can be implemented rather than
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. However, the argument could be further developed by considering and rebutting counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences and transitions to connect ideas more effectively.
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