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Writing Samples /
Band 4

More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.

#people #brands #cars #clothes #items
while
 some families think having a famous brand is extremely delightful for themselves and their family members, other people believe that a well-noun brand is not essential to have a nice life.Let me discuss my view in the next paragraphs.
To begin
 with,today with economic growth many families enjoy
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 famous mark because they believe it is fully useful for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example, the
well-noun
Correct your spelling
well-known
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 car helps them
have
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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relaxed
Wrong verb form
relax
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 when they are driving,
for
this
 reason,it is completely safe and they have a confident behaviour or if we have a choice they prefer to buy the papular dress, in fact, clothes aid them to have a delightful feel.
As a result
, they say
utilize of
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 perfect marks
such
 as
Correct article usage
a watch
show examples
watch
Correct article usage
a watch
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 or sunglasses or
Correct article usage
a dress
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dress
Correct article usage
a dress
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 or car ...
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to have more comfort and health so it is entirely positive for folk.
On the other hand
, a lot of people and experts think the only quality is vital to
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 healthy and comfortable folk and
Correct article usage
the brands
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brands
Fix the agreement mistake
brand
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 name is not important.
For instance
, a lot of types of equipment
make
Wrong verb form
are made
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 with low-level marks but they have good material and
also
 they are really cheaper than a famous brand,
Moreover
, we have to give a new quality chance to present their own work and
this
 subject
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to make a competitive.Despite the aforementioned ,advantages
this
 is a negative thing if we want to buy only
well-noun
Correct your spelling
well-known
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 brands. In conclusion, I am used to before buying anything, compare it and if I want to say what my opinion is I should say I think a famous character is fully catchy but sometimes we
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough money to buy them and sometimes we can find high-quality gool without having a famous character, so I believe it is negative for all citizens.
Submitted by saeedforoghi538 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and well-structured argument. The points made are not effectively developed, and there is an absence of a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and development. It needs to provide more detailed, relevant examples and fully support the main points.
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