IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world #reason
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There is no doubt that these days number of
Add an article
a smoker
the smoker
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smoker
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smokers
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 is increasing in the world. The question is, why we should worry about
this
 habit? In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I am going to write my own opinion and my own conclusion. In terms of
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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,
that
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apply
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the
governments
 don’t take a serious step
to
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toward
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phasing
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phase
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 out from
productions
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production
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 of Tobacco. The main reason given to support
this
 claim is that the
governments
 have not published information about the effect of smoking. To illustrate there are still places
allow
Correct pronoun usage
that allow
show examples
 smoking
with
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at
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a
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the
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 cheapest prices while they allow
to
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apply
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bringing children
in
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into
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this
 area which caused air pollution which in turn affects the health of children. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other word, there
is
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are
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 no serious anti-smoking fines from the
governments
.
Moreover
, some
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments
 have taken a good side.
Firstly
, they put taxes
in
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on
show examples
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of Tobacco which caused
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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use
Correct article usage
the use
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 product of Tobacco.
In
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On
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 the other hand,
this
 led to an
increasing
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increase
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 in the country’s income which is perfect that can the
governments
 spend
these money
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this money
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to
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on
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 health care.
Secondly
, some
governments
 have treated smoking cessation for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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free and
this
 prompted many people to treat the effects of smoking
in addition
 to that, there is a study from
health
Correct article usage
a health
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organization
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organizations
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 stating that the number of
smoker
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smokers
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 in Saudi Arabia declining due to government instruction to combat smoking. In conclusion,
governments
 must ensure take a serious
step
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steps
show examples
 to reduce
Add an article
the product
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 of smoking and dissemination
of
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apply
show examples
information about the harmful effects of smoking
Submitted by alruhaimi6 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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