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Band 4

Doctors, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #nurses #teacher #contribution #society #entertainment #sport #celebrities
Well, I love to read
books
 and play sports. I read both fiction and non-fiction
books
. I play some sports
such
 as soccer, badminton, and swimming. I read
books
 daily. I love reading because I gain a
lot
 of knowledge and information. Reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
also
 helps me to keep
emotional
Correct article usage
an emotional
show examples
 balance in difficult situations. I bring a book written by a meditation master named Thich Nhat Hanh all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
. I read
books
 for at least 30 minutes daily, and play football once a week. My colleagues often reserve a football playground near my workplace. My colleagues and I go there and play together every Saturday evening. I have been reading
books
 for over 15 years. Actually, I was in high school. During my high school period, I often read fiction
books
such
 as
sword fighter
Correct your spelling
Sword Fighter
show examples
 and
detective
Capitalize word
Detective
show examples
books
. Most of them I borrowed from my friends. I used to play computer games, especially when I was in university. You know. I didn't live with my parent during
this
 period, and I could not be against the appeal of computer games which make me feel like joining a new world. In my experience, hobbies play an important role in my life. It helps me to relax, gain social relationships, improve
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
my knowledge
show examples
, learn new skills and build my passion
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. I often work from 7a.m to 4p.m., sometimes I must work night shifts. I just live alone So I don't need to take care of others.
Therefore
, I have a
lot
 of free
time
. Well, It is very important. I have some personal
targetssuel
Correct your spelling
targets such
 as learning English, travelling to some domestic beautiful places, and dating some girls. So I spend my free
time
to get
Verb problem
making
show examples
 plans to reach them. Well, I really have a
lot
 of free
time
, but If I had more, I would spend
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 learning medical knowledge, learning how to write a book review, and learning painting. Of course. My company paid me an average of $5 an hour. Nowadays there are a
lot
 of services that you spend money on to reduce consumption
time
. To be honest, I think every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 waste their
time
 on different account from a little to a huge amount.
Time
flow
Change the verb form
flows
show examples
 naturally, and people should live at the present
time
. I have not visited any aqua-zoo. If I visited there, I would swim with dolphins.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical role
  • healthcare professionals
  • societal well-being
  • disparity in income
  • skewed values
  • essential services
  • remuneration
  • mitigate
  • global shortages
  • inherent value
  • nurturing
  • compensation
  • societal contributions
  • profound impact
  • equitable distribution
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