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Band 7.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Nowadays, young
people
 spend hours and days on their smartphones.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
 and present evidence to support my view that it is an adverse development. Children are dangerous going out in the modern city and some places do not develop well and do not have interesting sites to attract young
people
. Because in some developing countries, there are too many factories in the city. The roads are not safe for kids.
For example
, in my hometown, there used to be three factories around the town and the air is polluted. There are many trucks on the road.
Hence
 many residents just stayed at home and do not know what to do.
However
, my town did not have a park before. Especially the young kids, they just played with their phones. Using phones too much has a bad impact on the health of children. They will easily get myopia. According to recent research, more than half of young Chinese
people
 got myopia. After a long time staying with the phone individuals become weaker. Because they lack physical exercise. Young
people
 are easier to get
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
 than before. Children become overfat very common at primary school now in China.
For instance
, I found that my friends both have myopia and obesity and we do like playing games on our smartphones. In conclusion, Spending too much time on the phone influenced our health. Some cities are dangerous we do not have a choice but stay inside. But We should teach the kids to avoid using it over time. we
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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