Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #collage #route #career #job #school

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Some people argue that continuing to

study

Use synonyms

after school is the best way to achieve

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

career.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

other people believe that getting a

job

Use synonyms

instantly after school is an option.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that studying at a

university

Use synonyms

or college is the best route to a successful career. On the one hand, working on a part-time

job

Use synonyms

or on a temporary

job

Use synonyms

will give you

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of experience and skills. Mostly to receive an official

job

Use synonyms

you need at least experience or

knowledge

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money since teenagers

teaches

Change the verb form

teach

show examples

someone to appreciate money and how difficult is

earn

Fix the infinitive

to earn

show examples

money

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

spend it. Even any profession

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

attentions

Fix the agreement mistake

attention

show examples

to experiences than

knowledge

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, my dad is

engineer

Add an article

the engineer

an engineer

show examples

of petroleum.

However

Linking Words

, he does not have any high

diploms

Correct your spelling

diplomas

diplomats

diploma

such

Linking Words

as magistratura and

bakalavr

Correct your spelling

baklava

Instead

Linking Words

of school,

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

and

university

Use synonyms

achievements

Use synonyms

he has 20 years of work experience

Change preposition

show examples

almost similar

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. So, these factors

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the main reason why he got

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

. But,

this

Linking Words

story was 50 years ago. And nowadays almost 70% of all jobs give their

attentions

Fix the agreement mistake

attention

show examples

to academic

achievements

Use synonyms

and in

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

and

university

Use synonyms

there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

lot of opportunities to achieve academic medals.

On the other hand

Linking Words

continue

Wrong verb form

continuing

show examples

study

Use synonyms

your major is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

currently the best option

Change preposition

show examples

the twenty-first century. Even if someone has basic

knowledge

Use synonyms

of any profession and if he or she received a place in the olympiad, he or she can be a member of

this

Linking Words

major and work without hesitation. Because,

Change preposition

show examples

modern life there

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

lack of workers who

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

some academic

achievements

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, I got silver on the chemistry olympiad when I was

Change preposition

show examples

seventh grade.

However

Linking Words

, I wanted to

study

Use synonyms

math science and

study

Use synonyms

in the math science major. Unfortunately, My

achievements

Use synonyms

were not enough. I remembered that I received silver in the chemistry olympiad and sent it to the International Chemistry

University

Use synonyms

. Fortunately, I got accepted. So

this

Linking Words

means that you should have at least

little

Correct article usage

a little

show examples

basic

knowledge

Use synonyms

to get a

job

Use synonyms

. Taking everything mentioned into account, I believe that continuing to

study

Use synonyms

is the best option.

Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on Mon Oct 28 2024

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clarity comprehensive ideas

Improve the clarity of ideas by refining the organization of your arguments and ensuring each point is clear and distinct.

relevant specific examples

Use more specific examples that strongly support your claims to enhance the relevance and strength of your essay.

logical structure

Refine the logical flow within paragraphs to improve coherence and create a smoother reading experience for the audience.

complete response

You've presented a balanced discussion of both views, addressing different aspects of the topic effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

specialized curriculum
in-depth knowledge
competitive in the job market
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
broader perspective
global issues
networks and resources
career opportunities
practical experience
fast-paced industries
rapidly evolving industries
earning while learning
student debt
financial independence
hands-on experience
career advancement
work ethic
practical problem-solving skills

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Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or a negative development

n some countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.