Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #collage #route #career #job #school

Some people argue that continuing to

study

after school is the best way to achieve

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

career.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

other people believe that getting a

job

instantly after school is an option.

However

, I believe that studying at a

university

or college is the best route to a successful career. On the one hand, working on a part-time

job

or on a temporary

job

will give you

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of experience and skills. Mostly to receive an official

job

you need at least experience or

knowledge

Furthermore

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money since teenagers

teaches

Change the verb form

teach

show examples

someone to appreciate money and how difficult is

earn

Fix the infinitive

to earn

show examples

money

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

spend it. Even any profession

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

attentions

Fix the agreement mistake

attention

show examples

to experiences than

knowledge

For example

, my dad is

engineer

Add an article

the engineer

an engineer

show examples

of petroleum.

However

, he does not have any high

diploms

Correct your spelling

diplomas

diplomats

diploma

such

as magistratura and

bakalavr

Correct your spelling

baklava

Instead

of school,

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

and

university

achievements

he has 20 years of work experience

Change preposition

show examples

almost similar

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. So, these factors

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the main reason why he got

this

job

. But,

this

story was 50 years ago. And nowadays almost 70% of all jobs give their

attentions

Fix the agreement mistake

attention

show examples

to academic

achievements

and in

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

and

university

there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

lot of opportunities to achieve academic medals.

On the other hand

continue

Wrong verb form

continuing

show examples

study

your major is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

currently the best option

Change preposition

show examples

the twenty-first century. Even if someone has basic

knowledge

of any profession and if he or she received a place in the olympiad, he or she can be a member of

this

major and work without hesitation. Because,

Change preposition

show examples

modern life there

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

lack of workers who

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

some academic

achievements

For example

, I got silver on the chemistry olympiad when I was

Change preposition

show examples

seventh grade.

However

, I wanted to

study

math science and

study

in the math science major. Unfortunately, My

achievements

were not enough. I remembered that I received silver in the chemistry olympiad and sent it to the International Chemistry

University

. Fortunately, I got accepted. So

this

means that you should have at least

little

Correct article usage

a little

show examples

basic

knowledge

to get a

job

. Taking everything mentioned into account, I believe that continuing to

study

is the best option.

Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on Mon Oct 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity comprehensive ideas

Improve the clarity of ideas by refining the organization of your arguments and ensuring each point is clear and distinct.

relevant specific examples

Use more specific examples that strongly support your claims to enhance the relevance and strength of your essay.

logical structure

Refine the logical flow within paragraphs to improve coherence and create a smoother reading experience for the audience.

complete response

You've presented a balanced discussion of both views, addressing different aspects of the topic effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

specialized curriculum
in-depth knowledge
competitive in the job market
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
broader perspective
global issues
networks and resources
career opportunities
practical experience
fast-paced industries
rapidly evolving industries
earning while learning
student debt
financial independence
hands-on experience
career advancement
work ethic
practical problem-solving skills

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Since the technology has improved and mobile phones have become more popular among people, payment methods will be changed from using cash to electronical money transformation by means of cards or smartphones. This trend has proved to bring more convenience to people's life and be beneficial to the environment as well, so it can be predicted that paper money will be disappeared in the future. However, lack of knowledge and literacy with regard to electronic devices may have caused some inconvenience for older generations that they still prefer to use cash.
6
band
Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.
In the contemporary era, there has been a downward tendency in the number of youngsters engaging in sports activities. In my perspective, the main reasons are modernization and many social norms. By solving the mentioned problem, I think that educational institutions could play a pivotal role in stimulating more young people to play sports.
7.5
band
When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?
People have different views as to whether it is more essential to establish public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping malls for individuals for their leisure activities. In my perspective, despite the fact that there are benefits of building public parks and sports facilities in a new town before others, I firmly believe that improving shopping centres brings about many more benefits to society.
6
band
Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?
It is true that wild animals are impossible to see nowadays, especially in cities. Some people think that there is no particular place left for wild creatures. So, it is just a wastage of our bountiful resources, to provide them protection in this century. I completely disagree with this statement and believes that these animals should be protected and the individuals should do respect their habitats , no matter what.
5.5
band
Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and it is still not ready. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter say what has happened and how you feel ask them to explain why there has been a delay ask them to repair the radio very quickly or to supply you with a new radi
I am writing this letter in regard to the defective radio that I bought last week from one of your shop on keneddy rd in Brampton. After reaching home I realized that the volume changing nob was not working properly. I reached back to the store with a complaint on the same day and the manager said they will repair it in three as it is a minor defect. I am quite frustrated as It is been 7 days since then I have not heard back for a pickup day.

Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?