Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#topic #parents #children #toys #play\

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Parents have a major role in the upbringing of

children

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especially

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apply

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when it comes to leisure

time

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. Today's generation has a lot of exposure to different kinds of

toys

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making their spare

time

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vibrant. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will discuss the pros and cons of having a large number of

toys

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for

children

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To begin

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with, It is explicitly true that,

kids

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belonging

tothe

Correct your spelling

to the

Zgeneration have a wide collection of

toys

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. On one hand, it is good to control their free

time

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playing with

toys

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, so that they won't get addicted to smartphones or television screens which is one of the major issues that today's

children

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face.

For instance

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kids

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watching TV screens and video games are proven to be vulnerable to mental health issues.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is better to encourage

children

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to play with

toys

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, providing

children

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with a huge amount of

toys

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could interrupt their socializing

time

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and ability. Recent research in related fields conducted by the University of Madras proved that

children

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engaged in playing with

toys

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showed less interest in interacting with other

kids

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Moreover

Linking Words

, their verbal communication is comparatively lower than

children

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intrigued with other people. In conclusion, it is always good for

kids

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to play with

toys

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However

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, parents should make sure that their

time

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spent having fun with

toys

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shouldn't interrupt their social life

as well as

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their communication.

Furthermore

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, Parents have a vital role in grooming their

kids

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especially, from elementary schools to support them in participating in sports and games

along with

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playing with physical

toys

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. In

this

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way, we can reduce a lot of health problems which might arise

due to

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the lack of social life.

Submitted by praneeth2094 on Thu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the task. You have adequately discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are consistently clear and fully developed. While your points are valid, further elaboration on your examples and arguments would strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

There needs to be better paragraphing. Avoid starting sentences with 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand', as these phrases are usually followed by 'hand'. Try 'Firstly...' and 'Secondly...' instead.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking your paragraphs and ideas smoothly. Consistent use of connecting words and phrases will help create a better flow in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity. For instance, 'kids belonging to the Z generation' should be 'kids belonging to Generation Z'.

coherence cohesion

Consider extending your conclusion to summarize the key points of your arguments more succinctly.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay's structure effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion provides a good summary and reiterates the importance of balancing toy time with social activities.

supported main points

You appropriately distinguish between the positive and negative aspects of having a large number of toys, providing a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enhanced creativity
motor skill development
educational benefits
social skills
overstimulation
cognitive abilities
fine motor skills
gross motor skills
sharing and cooperation
shorter attention spans
lack of value
gratitude and appreciation
environmental impact
non-recyclable materials
materialistic values
sense of entitlement

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Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Your opinion

Most schools give their students grades based on their performance. Why do so many schools utilize this method of student evaluation? In what ways does this affect students?

Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

Many countries are encouraging the use of renewable energy sources instead of fossil fuels. Do the advantages of renewable energy sources outweigh the disadvantages?