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Band 4

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages

#students #year #school #university #travel #work #advantags #vote
In the present world, where having a degree has become a sign of
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achievement
achivement
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achievement
, we see
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a lot
alot
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a lot
 of
students
 taking a year or two
gaps
Fix the agreement mistake
gap
show examples
 between their school & university
studies
. It has a lot of
advantages
 & some disadvantages too. Totally depends on
someone
Change noun form
someone's
show examples
 priorities. As
i
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I
show examples
 feel
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disadvantages
disadvantaged
disadvatnages
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disadvantages
 outweigh
advantages
. As
analyized
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analyzed
 that
mosly
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most
mostly
students
 take
gaps
 because of
finiance
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finance
 & some
students
 take it too get a break from
studies
 & experience the
work
 life. As mostly everyone
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 when they take a break so they can get
work
 experience & it makes a person's CV strong. But
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 feel as they
work
 in their
gaps
 years they are undervalued in their salaries & most of them get stuck in that
work
 environment. As a study shows out of 10 only 8
further
 continues their
studies
 other's stay at
work
 as they get used to the salaries and their
progess
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progress
 & education both gets stop there only.   The
advantages
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advantage
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to
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of
show examples
 taking breaks
is
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are
show examples
 individual gets a break from
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
usually travel
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent and enjoy
the
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their
show examples
 social life. They get more socially active and they tend to spend more time with people they love. As seen some take breaks to collect the funds required for the university
tution
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tuition
 fees or
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at least
atleast
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at least
 1/3 amount of their student loans so they get a relive in future. I personally don't think there is
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anything
anythig
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anything
 wrong
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 taking breaks as most
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
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prefer
prefere
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prefer
 to take one as everyone has different conditions and
everyone
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everyone's
show examples
finiancal
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financial
 situations are different.
Students
 waste their
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 as
there
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their
show examples
gaps
Change the noun form
gap
show examples
 years extend the time they start their
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professional
proffesional
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professional
 career life as without a university degree a
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
show examples
 professional career cannot start. As we summarize
this
situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
, in my personal opinion there are much more disadvantages than
advantages
 of taking break
year's
Change noun form
years
show examples
 but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 it all depends on the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
situtations
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situations
 & priorities.
Submitted by kaiflohiya12 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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