IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays most people are not as fit and active as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

#people #situation
Lately, most people are not as fit and agile as they were in the past because there is a part of changes in the global world that prompt many to be relaxed and unbothered. Some of these innovations are; technology, Mode of transport, Telecommunication et cetera. Though, I won't dispute the fact that the newly introduced means of dealing with issues has really helped a portion of lives and have improved our society generally. But, I think it is paramount to still maintain some of the old ways of doing things in other not to get carried away with the new norms. I would like to make reference to one of the means of communication that are invoked presently, which is the mobile phone. A lot of offspring, adults and elders are so much into their handset that they careless about what is going on in their surroundings let alone showing concern. Especially, surfing the net, there is a lot of educational information online as well as corrupt news which has influenced a part of communities in a very bad direction.
Also
, the means of shipment have really made most people lazy to attend to things as we used to in the olden days.
However
, there are some measures I would advise we put into consideration. Parents should seize in buying mobile phones for children within the age range of 8-16years, and if it is necessary for the children to have a phone for the purpose of studying they should ensure they are always restricted to some applications and must be monitored. Another way to curb situations like
this
 is by engaging Children in a lot of discussions outside the technology world.
Also
, we should encourage ourselves to take up Jobs far from home to experience diverse means of transportation
such
 as trekking, boarding train, bus or bike other than using online transportation to attend to duties or do our work. With these few points of mine, considering all steps pointed out we could limit laziness and people would be more proactive to things in their surroundings and act
accordingly
 as we used to do.
Submitted by oruhblessing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: