IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays, overeating has become a serious problem for the wealthy nations, a problem which is even greater than hunger to others. Why is this happening? What can be the solution?

#nations #hunger
Food is a necessary source for the human being to survive as it contains all vitamins, protein and fats that a body requires. The major issue that the developed nations are facing is obesity and the main cause is junk food and its intake amount is high in all ages as compared previously.In
this
 essay , I would like to discuss the reason and the precaution that can be taken.
Firstly
, people have started consuming fried, preserved and junk food more than ever.It's because of the fast pace of life, everyone is in a hurry
thus
 they do not get adequate time to cook and preserve it in the refrigerator for a few days where it loses all its freshness and vital things that the meal should contain.
Moreover
, there are many offers in meat stores and humans consume more than the required amount causing obesity.Earlier they used to cook fresh on daily basis and intake it. Now the trend has shifted to ready-made foods.
For example
, the price of eatables is less in developed nations
thus
 the reason was eating cooked friend combo meal with great offers that resulted in eating more than required. As per the medical survey in 2050 every
third
 person in the US would have cancer and other health-related problems. Precautions can be taken to prove the above points wrong if the government gets involved and take bold steps toward the overweight issue.One thing is by drastically increasing the price of Medical Health Insurance for those who are obese might bring some changes in mindset. Another possible reason can be to hike the price on fare charges
such
 as in travelling by aeroplane, railway and other public transports. To conclude, the priority of people's birth should be for the betterment of society and not just the sake of eating more and more and living a sedentary lifestyle. 'Precaution is better than disaster'.
Submitted by 56tushar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: