Very few people who commit crime want to. They do it because they feel they have no choice. This is the reality of situation, and it means that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing crime.

Crime
is the most important aspect of society. That leads to a large number of problems in society. Some people believe that criminals do not want to be harmed like there are, but they have no choices. And it means that it is impossible to reduce
this
problem.
However
, I cannot totally agree with
this
view. I am concerned that
everyone
has several choices about what they are looking for. Nowadays, globalization leads to increasing unemployment. While
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new invention is found every day, that means human labour is continuously decreasing leading to unemployment. Following
this
, poverty will increase. To be more precise, many people think that they have no
choice
but to make money for the increasing expenses.
Hence
, they become criminals.
However
, in my point of view,
everyone
has a
choice
, whether they are looking for it or not. To be more specific, there are many people that are unemploy, but it is noticeable that not
everyone
is a criminal.
For example
, poor families do not have jobs, but they try to start to sell their old clothes so that they can make money for their expenses.
Moreover
, the point that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing
crime
. I do not agree with
this
point. In my opinion, if the police and the laws are strong enough to deal with criminals. Indeed, If the punishment and mistakes are relevant,
crime
will decrease eventually.
For example
, in Japan, the country has strong discipline, and there is a decrease in
crime
nowadays. In conclusion,
although
criminal says that they do not want to commit the
crime
, they just do it because of no
choice
. I could argue that
everyone
has a
choice
whether they look for it. And the
crime
would be decreased by strong laws and punishment.
Submitted by tipdaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: