Very few people who commit crime want to. They do it because they feel they have no choice. This is the reality of situation, and it means that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing crime.

#people #crime #choice #reality #situation #police #prisons

Crime

is the most important aspect of society. That leads to a large number of problems in society. Some people believe that criminals do not want to be harmed like there are, but they have no choices. And it means that it is impossible to reduce

this

problem.

However

, I cannot totally agree with

this

view. I am concerned that

everyone

has several choices about what they are looking for. Nowadays, globalization leads to increasing unemployment. While

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new invention is found every day, that means human labour is continuously decreasing leading to unemployment. Following

this

, poverty will increase. To be more precise, many people think that they have no

choice

but to make money for the increasing expenses.

Hence

, they become criminals.

However

, in my point of view,

everyone

has a

choice

, whether they are looking for it or not. To be more specific, there are many people that are unemploy, but it is noticeable that not

everyone

is a criminal.

For example

, poor families do not have jobs, but they try to start to sell their old clothes so that they can make money for their expenses.

Moreover

, the point that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing

crime

. I do not agree with

this

point. In my opinion, if the police and the laws are strong enough to deal with criminals. Indeed, If the punishment and mistakes are relevant,

crime

will decrease eventually.

For example

, in Japan, the country has strong discipline, and there is a decrease in

crime

nowadays. In conclusion,

although

criminal says that they do not want to commit the

crime

, they just do it because of no

choice

. I could argue that

everyone

has a

choice

whether they look for it. And the

crime

would be decreased by strong laws and punishment.

Submitted by tipdaa on Fri Jul 29 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Very few people who commit crime want to. They do it because they feel they have no choice. This is the reality of situation, and it means that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing crime.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

-A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?