More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer?
The trend of
people
abandoning farming to pursue big cities
and job
opportunities
has become an increasingly pressing concern in contemporary society. This
essay will examine some of the repercussions, as well as
potential solutions to mitigate these effects.
On the one hand, there are some consequences for the issue of an increasing number of people
leaving rural areas
to seek employment in urban centers
. Change the spelling
centres
Firstly
, increased population density in cities
can lead to housing shortages, traffic congestion, and strain on public services like healthcare and education. This
is caused by the cities
offering more job
opportunities
and higher wages than rural areas
. Similarly
, the perception of a higher quality of life in cities
, such
as entertainment and cultural experiences, attracts a lot of people
. Besides
that, the loss of young, working-age individuals from rural areas
can contribute to economic decline, aging
populations, and a decline in agricultural productivity is Change the spelling
ageing
also
another percussion. For instance
, the lack of employment opportunities
in rural areas
, especially in sectors like agriculture, manufacturing, and services, can push young people
to seek better economic prospects in cities
. In contrast
, rural jobs often offer lower wages and fewer benefits compared to urban counterparts.
Fortunately, several measures could be taken to alleviate this
problem. Initially
, the solution would be to invest in rural infrastructure, such
as transportation, healthcare, and education, to improve the quality of life and reduce the incentive to migrate. This
could be done by improving existing roads, establishing or upgrading rural health centers
with adequate staffing, and modernizing schools or building new ones to improve educational facilities and resources. Another solution is to support the modernization of agriculture through technology, training, and market access to increase income and Change the spelling
centres
job
opportunities
in rural areas
. For example
, the adoption of modern agricultural technologies, such
as precision farming and genetically modified crops, can significantly boost crop yields and reduce production costs. As a result
, this
can lead to higher incomes for farmers and create more job
opportunities
in the agricultural sector.
In conclusion, it is clear that
there are various reasons for what happened things, and steps need to be taken by the government and individuals to tackle this
problem. It can be predicted that with appropriate funding and implementation of these suggested measures, this
issue would likely be alleviated in the next years.Submitted by mgnm140307 on
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task response
Examples could be more specific and tailored to the main points. Consider including real-world data or case studies to add weight to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, but improving topic sentences in certain paragraphs can strengthen logical flow.
coherence cohesion
To better support your points, incorporate more connective words and phrases. This will improve transitions between ideas.
task response
Some paragraphs could benefit from more in-depth analysis. Don’t hesitate to explore a point further to enhance clarity and impact.
task response
The introduction is strong and clearly sets the context for the discussion.
task response
The essay offers practical solutions and considers various perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logical and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.