Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

Many young people look up to
athletes
as
role
models
. There is just something attractive about the thought of being in good physical condition and being talented in sports. Others,
however
, question whether they are good
models
for
children
. In
this
essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and present my point of view. In many cases, young, talented and charismatic
athletes
are natural
role
models
for
children
.
First,
if the athlete is enthusiastic about being a
role
model and devotes time and energy to community activities, his or her activities are beneficial to
children
. Examples are making appearances at neighbourhood events, serving on local boards, or working with charity organisations.
Second,
if the athlete displays a healthy balance between striving for excellence and having fun in the process, he or she will encourage the virtues of working hard to achieve goals and the importance of enjoying the journey to
such
goals. From
this
,
children
can learn about the process of achieving goals and managing to overcome difficulties they may have in the future.
However
, professional
athletes
are not always good
role
models
. An athlete has no moral obligation to be a
role
model for young people, and the
role
of
athletes
is simply to perform on the court or field of play. It is true that
athletes
may have money and fame and
therefore
take up a significant amount of
children
’s screen time, but that does not mean we should necessarily put faith in them as
role
models
outside of the stadium. In conclusion, many
athletes
can be seen as good
role
models
in some aspects, but it cannot be said that they are perfect
role
models
. Putting too much faith in them may do more harm than good and parents should try to provide the best
models
for their
children
.
Submitted by ockn93 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task by discussing both points of view and providing your own opinion. Make sure to further develop your arguments to provide a more comprehensive analysis of each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you maintain coherence and cohesion by using transitions to connect your ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
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