IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live it. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #house #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days
people
 are getting more and more interested in historical sites, especially traditional
houses
 that
people
 used to live in. There are many reasons to find out about traditional buildings, and
also
 some ways to discover them.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons and draw some ways to research them. One of the major reasons
people
 are seeking to find out about old buildings is that they want to know more about their ancestors, which were living there someday. Some
people
 claim that the design of
houses
 can provide us with our traditional values. They discuss that
this
 information helps
people
 to know their costumes. Some suggest that the more
people
 discover about their past, the more they will be prepared for future events. Another thing that impresses these
people
 is the beauty of the old architecture, which is much more graceful than today’s ones. In Shiraz,
for example
, there is an old house named ‘’Emarate Nesa’’, which attracts a lot of
people
 every year because of its artful design. The way to find
this
 data, individuals who have tastes in traditional sites can study different styles of these buildings, which can be reached by reading historical books and articles. Another way could be provided by the government to implement campaigns and give more information to
people
 or talk about them in media,
such
 as television and radio.
Moreover
, travelling is another way that can be effective and helpful because some types of
houses
 are different in other parts of the world and visiting them could be an experience.
For example
, the
houses
 in Yazd, Iran are very different from other cities
due to
 their climate, which has made
people
 build
houses
 with clay.
Submitted by Shahdadi.m76 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider refining your paragraphing to enhance readability. For example, separating the reasons into distinct paragraphs would be beneficial.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each point is fully developed with clear, comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasings which might obscure your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, adequately framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have included relevant specific examples which help illustrate your points, such as the example of the Emarate Nesa in Shiraz.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: