People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyle and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, an individual's diet &
lifestyle
are both influenced by technology to some extent.
Food
available as of now is not highly nutritional due to which it is crucial to choose healthy diets in
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
lifestyle
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
unhealthy
lifestyle
choices made result in hefty expenses one is expected to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to cope with.
This
essay will discuss why improper
lifestyle
and poor
food
choices made
result
Wrong verb form
resulted
show examples
in a higher health care bill. Development in technology has led to packaged foods being over processed,
this
, in turn, reduces the nutritional value of a
food
item which when consumed in excessive amounts may lead to health issues. For ,instance packaged
food
like a sugar-free variant of a biscuit may seem to be healthy from the packaging but a closer look at the nutritional chart will reveal that a larger amount of fat is substituted in place of the sugar to make it more delicious. ,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
these choices unknowingly can lead to higher cholesterol count,
heart-related
Correct word choice
and heart-related
show examples
issues which
incurs
Change the verb form
incur
show examples
a lot of cost in healthcare.
Submitted by glenluis20 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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