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Band 6.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only spaces available for building in in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new home there. What is your opinion about this?

#places #homes #spaces #countryside #people #home
Ever rising population around the world has led to expanding new homes to rural areas. Some people argued that the countryside needs to protect from expansion. In
this
 essay, I will share my point of view about
this
 issue. To commence with, the main reason for
this
 problem is the human population. Due to that, we should build new houses for new residents. Most of the spaces in the urban area are fully occupied already.
Therefore
 the government and building companies usually plan to extend it to the village side.
For example
, some agricultural lands of small villages in India were already engaged by construction companies.
This
 will affect our ecosystem seriously.
Furthermore
, construction in rural locations will decrease farmlands and it leads to a shortage of healthy food in future.
Moreover
, trees and plants are doing an important role in weather control and
also
removing
Wrong verb form
remove
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 a big amount of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. These trees and plants from the surrounding would
cutoff
Correct your spelling
cut off
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 for the development and changed our environment.
In addition
, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of animals and birds are lived in these locations and they have an effect on the waste.
For instance
, we always read some news about animals and birds deth because they miscalculate a few wastes as their food. At ,
last
 I conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 homes are essential for every human being but they shouldn't affect our environment. So I don't agree with the expansion of new homes to the rural areas. The government and individuals take care of
this
 and find other ideas for accommodation.
Submitted by Surajv431 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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