Nowadays, young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #stars #development

In today's world, the young generation follows their favourite celebrities as role models. The public tries to adopt the lifestyle and the nature of their favourite superstar. I would like to say that

this

behaviour leads to more negative progress than positive. The following paragraphs will discuss the pros and cons of

this

essay.

Firstly

, adolescents admire famous personalities for their

luxury

Replace the word

luxurious

show examples

lifestyle which result in disappointment for them.

For example

, They are several youtube videos which show the lifestyle blogs of great

stars

like the brands they wear which are unaffordable for the general public to buy

as a result

to purchase youngsters pressurize their parents for money.

Secondly

, people take their role model controversies very seriously which threats the life of local citizens but superstars play all that stunts to gain publicity.

This

leads to very dangerous consequence for people who wants to be like their favourite

stars

On the other hand

, Celebrities motivate folks through their hard work and struggles. To illustrate, Sidhu moosewala who was a

punjabi

Change the capitalization

Punjabi

show examples

singer struggled for 4 years to get fame and has inspired the world with his hard work. Superstars help their fans to live a quality life by motivating them to join

gym

Fix the agreement mistake

gyms

show examples

and fitness centres to bring their best out of them. In conclusion, with the advancement of social media youngsters gets all the information about the

stars

they like. In my opinion,

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

has more cons than pros because the things and emotions

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

show examples

by celebrities on media are not always right. So, youngsters should limit their emotions and attitudes toward the

stars

Submitted by guri on Mon Aug 01 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.