Some sports are extremely dangerous for those who play them. Why do people participate in such sports? What measures could they take to minimize the risk involved?
There are some
sports
which are terribly hazardous for their players
. There are some reasons for their doers along with
precautions that can be taken to prevent from being injured or decrease the chance of it which are going to be discussed in this
essay.
It is universally accepted that exercise is one of the bases that can enhance people's health situation. In the meantime, there are some sports
such
as Karate
or Wrestling which are quite rough and can bring about major or minor injuries. As a matter of fact, those who play these sports
are the actual lovers of these sorts of exercises despite being dangerous. For instance
, my cousin has played Karate
since childhood and prefers to abandon school rather than Karate
due to
her interest in that. In addition
, researches show that these kinds of sports
boost the self-confidence of the players
. All in all, they do not consider the consequences while
deciding about them.
Given these circumstances, one should protect him or herself in order to take part in such
sports
and not be affected due to
their roughness. By way of illustration, in wrestling, they have to be very cautious about their ears which are prone to be broken easily, not to mention
the majority of the players
have lost their ears' standard shape when they engage professionally. Also
in Karate
, all players
have to wear some protectors on different parts of their body so as to avoid being injured, this
is important , especially over the face and head and other vulnerable spots on the waist downward. In a nutshell, one should be conservative enough to prevent from being influenced.
In conclusion, although
some sports
are very attractive and absorb enormous players
and at the same time have the potential to endanger them, there are some actions that can be taken in order to neutralize the possible dangers which have been discussed in this
article.Submitted by keyhan454 on
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structure
Continue to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific part of the question. This enhances the logical flow and clarity of your argument.
coherence
To further enhance the coherence of your essay, work on linking sentences more smoothly within paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help with this.
analysis
While your examples are relevant and support your points well, consider deepening your analysis of these examples to show how they specifically relate to the question's broader context.
accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and refine your usage of vocabulary for greater precision and variety. This will improve the overall professionalism and readability of your writing.
Task Response
You effectively addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion on why people participate in dangerous sports and how they can minimize risk.
Organization
You showed a good ability to organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in making your argument clear and easy to follow.
Example Use
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Karate and wrestling, effectively supports your points and makes your essay more convincing.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
