IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some beleive that people should get a job right after school. other says they should attend university. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#beleive #people #job #right #school #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays , getting a good
job
Use synonyms
 is very difficult for anybody so some communities believe that people should get employment after the
job
Use synonyms
 because it is very difficult for
everyone
Use synonyms
 to get a wonderful business after graduation.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that students should attend college. In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,I would explain both views and give my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , the main is education should be very important to
everyone
Use synonyms
 to find jobs and create their own businesses. ,
Also
Linking Words
 some people suggest that all should start doing the
work
Use synonyms
 after school ,in my opinion , it should be not beneficial for
everyone
Use synonyms
 because their
age
Use synonyms
 can be 17 or less than 18 so in many countries the maximum
age
Use synonyms
 is 18 for doing the
job
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , many of them are just complete their higher education so they might not have any knowledge about production
also
Linking Words
 their thinking ability is not working properly because of their
age
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , in my view the maximum
age
Use synonyms
 to start working is 23 or 24 because at
this
Linking Words
 life maximum pupils finished their graduation in their respective field so they all have proper knowledge about stream and
work
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 they have little experience of
work
Use synonyms
 .
for instance
Linking Words
, many students
work
Use synonyms
 as
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
 worker in their college time so they know about all things in details so it might be beneficial for the company as well as that employee.
In addition
Linking Words
 , there are several benefits to starting
work
Use synonyms
 after education
such
Linking Words
 as , thinking ability and absorbing the
pressure
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 , in many fields workers have much
pressure
Use synonyms
 about their targets , salaries , and family
pressure
Use synonyms
 so at
this
Linking Words
 ,
age
Use synonyms
 all
pressure
Use synonyms
 people can be handled properly . In conclusion , after college should be the best time for
everyone
Use synonyms
 to start their
job
Use synonyms
 because not only they handle pressures and all things but
also
Linking Words
 it will be helped them to get better salary packages and sometimes it will be
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for the company's development .
Submitted by Sunnyđź’Ś on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: