IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that getting to Universities is the sole way to get success while others say that it depends on the other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #universities #success #factors
Nowadays, most people want to complete their education in order to be more successful in their careers. Some believe that getting a degree or certificate will improve a student's career, but others believe that success is related to factors other than convocation. Overall, I totally agree that if the public wants to advance in their careers, they should attend academic studies.
This
 is because I believe that graduation gives more opportunities to an employee and makes the employer stronger intellectually.
To begin
, the main reason why I believe that the community should continue their discipline is that they have a better chance of getting a job after convocation than other people who did not study.
This
 is due to companies and factories always looking for employees who have a master's degree or a doctorate in their field of study. As well as
this
, these types of personnel are more likely to get a promotion when it comes to change in the position of workers in a company.
This
 is because graduating from university has helped these folk to be more valuable to the place where they work.
Therefore
, it is obvious that graduation is the only way for personnel and workers to succeed in their jobs.
Moreover
, another reason why I support
this
 notion that society is influenced by their academic lifestyle, is that universities can create strong intellectual employers who have the ability to manage and improve the workplace rather than people who have failed in the discipline system.
As a result
, they can share and transfer the knowledge and wisdom they have gained at university with their staff, leading to significant improvements in the company these intellectually active employers lead. In conclusion, I completely agree that graduating from university is the key to success in society's careers.
Furthermore
, the reason why I believe
this
 statement is that employees have more chances to be accepted or promoted in the workplace and employers can create a more advanced work environment and develop their employees. Given
this
 situation, it seems that students should always look forward to completing their discipline as
this
 can only lead to a more successful future.
Submitted by mehdisnkiller on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: