Some people think that the goverment should be responsible for crime prevention. Others believe that it is the responsibilty of the individual to protect themselves. Disucss both views and give their opinion.

Although
it is sometimes thought that the
government
ought to be accountable for preventing
crime
, other
people
claim that it is the duty of every citizen to safeguard themselves. In my opinion, I consider that the state plays an important role in deterring
crime
. On the one hand, it is maintained by some that the
government
is responsible for
crime
prevention because they can enforce strict rules to prevent
crime
, and I agree.
In other words
, the
government
has resources which help it to stop
crime
and catch criminals.
For example
, they have technology devices which help to inspect the expected crimes.
Furthermore
, it is their duty to protect the citizens because they pay taxes to the
government
.
This
is to say, that
people
should be safeguarded by their
government
because they pay for facilities and protection.
On the other hand
, many
people
are convinced that it is individuals’ duty to protect themselves. One reason is that
people
should be protected in their homes by themselves. To put it simply, if
people
lock their doors when they go to bed, they will be safer. Another reason is that when the
government
prevents
people
from doing something they should not do, it is their problem.
For instance
, if the state advises
people
to not go to the dangerous street at night, the citizens must listen and not do it.
To sum up
,
while
people
may vary in their opinions, I think that the
crime
rate will be higher if the
government
does not prevent it.
Thus
, the
government
is the main responsible for deterring
crime
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Ensure that both viewpoints are given equal attention to show balanced discussion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Further develop explanations to make arguments clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow of ideas contributing to overall readability.
task achievement
Addresses both perspectives on the issue effectively.
task achievement
Provides reasonable arguments supporting both views.
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