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Band 4.5

More and more people are leaving the countryside to live in cities. Does this development have positive or negative effects on the environment?

#people #countryside #cities #development #effects #environment
These years an increasing number of
people
 flock to urban areas.
This
 trend may benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
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our environmental protection, despite some pollution caused by growing car emissions.
This
 essay will attempt to look into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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why its positive ways are more than
drawbacks
Correct pronoun usage
its drawbacks
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.   To start with,
rural-to-urban
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the rural-to-urban
a rural-to-urban
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 shift can reduce a part of
damage
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the damage
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 to nature due to a large number of
people
 away from
countryside
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the countryside
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 have to start to obey the rule of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 community ,
this
 can boost their environmental awareness which is significant for themselves as well.
For instance
 ,city communities
recent
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in recent
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 years did a lot of publicity about how to protect
environment
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the environment
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like
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apply
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there are some recycle waste stations
where
Correct word choice
that
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 can teach some recycling
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 and they hold regular activities by sending gifts to everyone in the community to aware
people
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
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environment
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the environment
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 is related with everyone and they have rules about Garbage sorting ,if you do not obey the rule,you have to pay a fine.
This
 is less to
happened
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happen
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 in rural areas
,
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apply
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 when they came to the city they obey the rule and it is really positive for our
environment
.  
This
first
 reason is linked to the
second
,
people
 leaving the countryside
also
 cut the contaminates for
rural
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the rural
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 natural
environment
, when they leave away from the countryside,
this
 can reduce the action of cutting the trees and hunt wild animals which can reduce the destruction of rural organisms,
thus
 maintain biodiversity and protecting the balance of
ecological
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the ecological
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environment
 .   Apparently, the movement of population to cities
also
 brings car emissions because it can add the use of public facilities
include
Wrong verb form
including
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 buses and shared cars . at the same time ,some
people
 have chosen
bought
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to buy
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 their own cars .All of these can bring emissions which are not environmentally friendly.   In conclusion,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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 had chosen to live in cities
instead
 of
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in rural areas is a positive thing for environmental protection
although
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some car emission pollution there.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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