It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Whether taking risks is crucial for
people
in both major areas and private aspects becomes a heated debate. For my part,
although
there are drawbacks related to
this
behaviour, I tend to believe that more merits we can gain from
this
. On the one hand,
people
may face some downsides when they do risky things. One disadvantage would be the probability of failure. When
people
are chasing their personal goals, they may devote all the energy they have to achieve their
ambition
Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
show examples
.
However
, it is inevitable to make hazardous decisions on the road to success and when they choose the wrong answer, it will lead to a debacle and waste both energy and time. The second demerit comes from the first disadvantage, which is the following consequences the losers have to cope with,
such
as the barriers with partners, conflicts with parents, potential mental diseases stemming from
this
failure and so on.
On the other hand
,
people
and societies can have access to more benefits when they choose to take adventures. In professional lives, the main advantage would be the development of technology. Almost all the conveniences we enjoy nowadays are based on the risks which scientists have explored before. In view of
this
, taking risks is a necessary factor for the promotion of the whole society. As for personal lives,
this
can be helpful to change the status of a family.
For example
, when you deem one share
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
promising and you make a determination to buy it, it may become an opportunity to upgrade your life quality.
To conclude
, despite there being some drawbacks, I think the advantages outweigh the drawbacks and it can bring more positive points than negative ones.
Submitted by 3071334368 on

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task response
Provide a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question prompt. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively. Additionally, use transition words to better connect ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. Ensure that the essay follows a clear and organized structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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