Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we worked? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
The proliferation of advanced
technology
has changed the way many companies run their business. From my perspective, I advocate this
trend and believe that there are some downsides arising from relying too much on it.
Undoubtedly, utilizing modern technology
has provided certain merits for employees and enterprises alike. Thanks to many applications and tools that have been invented, the overall
productivity of the whole business is boosted rapidly. For instance
, some online and virtual platforms namely Zoom and Google Meet have facilitated individuals to work from home, especially those who live far from the workplace albeit still desiring to work in offices. Furthermore
, those platforms also
supported collaborations with other firms around the world. As a result
, incorporating technology
into workplaces has created a holistic working environment for staff to ascend the career ladder, and also
the businesses to integrate with other firms in other countries as well.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned benefits, there are still some specific drawbacks if people rely too much on this
utility. Owing to the rampant popularity of modern technology
, it
has generated competitive markets that have numerous participation enterprises. To be not held back by other companies, a large number of organizers will force their employees to work under immense pressure in pursuit of enhancing productivity and gaining profits. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
approach will not only make them adhere to a fixed schedule to accomplish heavy workloads,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
pose some threats to their mental and physical health.
To conclude
, technology
is extremely essential for growing companies' systems and services. However
, it also
has some downsides that need to be taken into consideration, so that organizers can help their employees achieve a work-life balance.Submitted by ruozzo3095 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and several supporting sentences that develop that idea. Remember that logical transitions and connectives enhance the flow of your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you have a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should provide a clear overview of the topic and your thesis, while your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new ideas.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with relevant examples or evidence. While you mentioned Zoom and Google Meet, further elaboration or additional examples could strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
Task Achievement
Expand your response to fully address all parts of the task. Consider discussing more disadvantages of relying on technology and how these impact individual employees and company dynamics. Delve deeper into the complexities instead of just outlining them briefly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.