Technology has more positive than negative effects on our relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #effects #relationships #people

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

modern times,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology-driven communication plays one of the most crucial roles in our

life

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals rely so much on the

gadgates

Correct your spelling

gadgets

such

as smartphones, tablets, computers and other electrical devices to build relationships with the people in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

essay will articulate both views along with my opinion that the

innovated

Replace the word

innovative

show examples

technology not only helps improve the network in the community but

also

creates side effects if human beings make use of it in the wrong ways.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

automation has smoothed our communication with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global citizen both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

socially and economically.

For instance

, it can be widely seen that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

businessmen are able to conduct meetings with their partners virtually and effectively through Zoom video conferencing or other applications as long as there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reliable internet and modern devices.

Furthermore

, we easily contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our friends and family who are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

oversea with a click on our smartphones or laptops.

Hence

this

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

crystal

Correct pronoun usage

it crystal

show examples

clear that the innovation of

Correct your spelling

technology

technolgy

Correct your spelling

technology

has been an essential part of our daily

life

if it is utilized in a useful way.

On the contrary

, there are

also

some drawbacks and cases

as a result

of making friends online and excessively spending time online than

real

Change preposition

in real

show examples

life

. To exemplify

this

, nowadays, we have seen and heard the news from the newspaper or television that people who are using Facebook and other social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

are cheated by being persuaded to believe that someone they have met online

are

Change the verb form

show examples

rich and they end up

Correct your spelling

transferring

tranferring

Correct your spelling

transferring

cash to the strangers.

Likewise

, the youngsters end up wasting their time

Correct your spelling

in front

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of the computer screen by playing online games and not

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

their social

life

with their friends and families face-to-face.

Therefore

, their relationships with their loved ones are getting worse. To summarise, our human beings do have great benefit from the innovated technology, but

this

can only make our relationship stronger and better only if we know how to take the advantage of it.

Thus

, we should always be mindful to balance our

virutal

Correct your spelling

virtual

world with the help of technology and our outside world with our society.

Submitted by nannphongnoan on Wed Aug 03 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

358 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
digital communication
instant messaging
social media platforms
virtual connections
long-distance relationships
cultural diversity
online interactions
cyberbullying
in-person interaction
emotional intimacy
cybersecurity
reliance on technology

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In many countries, a few people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is a positive thing for the country. Other people believe that governments should not allow salaries to be over a certain level. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.