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Writing Samples
Band 7

Disruptive school children have negative influence on others. students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view

#school #children #influence #students
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Pupils
Use synonyms
 of disruptive schools have negatively impacted others.It is a debatable topic that the aggressive,noisy
as well as
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 disobedient behaviour of
children
Use synonyms
 ought to be combined and taught alone
instead
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 of the remaining
students
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.
According to
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 my point of view,
students
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 can better acquire ethics of the disciplined by staying with those
pupils
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,who are more disciplined. There are numerous reasons why
students
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 indulge in worse activities following the
children
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 having a disruptive attitude as poor performance in their academics
due to
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 the disturbance of naughty
students
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 in the class.
Additionally
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,sometimes well-mannered
students
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also
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 follow the behaviour of disobedient
children
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 forcefully to lead the bad things in their classroom .
For instance
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,bullying
students
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 always try to encourage the other
children
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 to involved with them to do some bad activities in their classroom and the disciplined
pupils
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 follow them and
also
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 indulge in bad character.
Hence
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,the whole classroom environment gets disturbed.
However
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,the noisy
pupils
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 spend their time with extraordinary classmates at their school.They not only acquire ethics and discipline but
also
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 sometimes tend to change themselves like those well-mannered
students
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.
Moreover
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,the mixture of different natures of the juveniles is necessary for the holistic development of the pupil.
For example
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,in my 10th class,one student was nought and disobedient in my class and he always disturbed the whole course during lectures.
Nevertheless
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, I was a well-mannered and disciplined guy in school.One day,he became my best friend and after joining my company,he followed me and became more sincere in his whole study life.
Therefore
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,some disruptive kids can change their aggressive behaviour by spending their time with good society members .
To conclude
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,
although
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 disruptive
students
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 are not good for others,
according to
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 my perception, spending with disciplined
as well as
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 obedient
pupils
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 in their school, can definitely change their
such
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 kind of attitude one day.
Submitted by kamalkaur.er on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear view on the topic and includes some arguments supporting the viewpoint that disruptive children should not be separated. However, it would benefit from more structured paragraphs and a clearer organization of ideas. Try to develop each point thoroughly before moving on to the next one.
coherence cohesion
The essay's coherence and cohesion can be improved by using more linking words and phrases to ensure that arguments flow logically from one to the next. Think about using transition words like 'firstly', 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' to strengthen the connections between your ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly and presents a specific viewpoint, which is supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
The author includes personal anecdotes and specific examples to support their arguments, which adds depth to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disruptive
  • noisy
  • disobedient
  • behavioral management
  • stigmatization
  • marginalization
  • inclusive education
  • intervention programs
  • classroom dynamics
  • academic performance
  • parental involvement
  • segregation
  • integration
  • tailored educational approaches
What to do next:
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