Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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These days, a large number of people prefer to do self-care
instead
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of referring to a
doctor
Use synonyms
,
due to
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the high expense of therapy and visiting practitioners. In fact , individuals are trying to substitute medicines and treatments
instead
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of going to a hospital or
doctor
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. It seems to me that, it is a positive development, in
this
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essay I will support my opinion and give examples. It has several pros and one of them is that it
causes to save
Verb problem
saves
show examples
money and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
pay for doctors and medical procedures.
In other words
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, if you want to go visit a
doctor
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, you should pay for transportation and prescribing ,
otherwise
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, you can save your money for other things.
Secondly
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, alternative medicine, as an example, self-care makes your body stronger and immune in front of illness, which means it doesn’t let your body get used to drugs. A good example of it would be, If you have a cold, you might refer to a
doctor
Use synonyms
and he prescribes some drugs
such
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as penicillin , long-lasting it makes your body poor, but if you use vitamins like C and drink liquids you will be honed.
On the other hand
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, whenever you get sick and want to treat yourself, it can be time-consuming and even you may get worse, because you don’t know what happened to you, if you don’t visit the
doctor
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it can cause irreparable damage. In
this
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case, you have to go to the
doctor
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and he will diagnose what happened to you. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
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essay, you need to go to the
doctor
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for a bad illness like high blood pressure. In my opinion, alternative medicines and treatments are better than visiting a
doctor
Use synonyms
,
nonetheless
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for a crucial illness you must go to the
doctor
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Structure
Try to develop a clearer structure within paragraphs. Start with a topic sentence, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence. This helps to maintain a logical flow of ideas.
Linking
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve coherence. While your essay demonstrates good cohesion with some connectors, varying these can enhance the flow of your argument.
Examples
Be careful with generalisations and ensure that when you mention examples, they are specific and clearly support your argument. This will strengthen your task response score by making your points more convincing.
Position
Although your position is clear throughout the essay, ensuring that every paragraph directly supports your main argument can enhance task response. Connect each point more explicitly back to the question prompt for clarity.
Response to Prompt
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear opinion and supporting it with examples and explanations.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have a good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs, framing your argument well and providing a satisfying closure to the discussion.
Use of Examples
The use of examples, especially when discussing the benefits of alternative medicine, helps to support your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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