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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this ? What solution can you suggest

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
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Nowadays, young students only have less free
time
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 in their daily life. Since they spend a lot of
time
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 on studies.
This
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 situation is becoming common in present society, there are some factors that result in it and I will give my own suggestions. Today, young students have less and less free
time
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 in their daily lives, because they spend a lot of
time
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 studying.
This
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 situation is becoming more and more common in today's society. There are some factors that cause
this
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 phenomenon. I will give my own advice.
First
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 of all,
parents
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 worry too much about their
children
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’s future, so they always manage various
courses
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 on their
children
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's daily schedules. Especially, in Asian countries, Asian
parents
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 always want their
children
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 to learn different skills,
thus
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 they attempt to manage many talented
courses
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 for them.
Then
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children
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 spend their off-school
time
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 and weekends going to these
courses
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. It causes students to not have enough
time
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 to relax.
Secondly
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, an employment environment makes
people
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 live in a high competition environment, where the workers have to learn more skills and knowledge.
For example
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, in Taiwan, the designers not only need to design and be creative ability but
also
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 edit videos ability. The employees need to take some
courses
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 to keep improving their abilities, to prevent them from being eliminated from employment. To change
this
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 situation,
people
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 can use some methods. For Asian
parents
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, they should change their ideas and not focus their
children
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 on extra learning in their free
time
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. All
people
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 need to properly release pressure from school and work, so
parents
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 should leave
time
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 for
children
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 to relax.
Additionally
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, employees can use online to learn more skills for a job, they can have
courses
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 anytime and anywhere and they save their
time
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 doing their hobbies. In conclusion, modern
people
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 live under pressure. If
people
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 do not know how to reduce their pressure, it might make
people
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 have an unhealthy mentality.
People
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 should be more concerned about their mental health.
Submitted by m064611 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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