People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

#people

Nowadays, there is a certain phenomenon surrounding the elderly,

that is

, the life expectancy of the elderly after

retirement

is much longer than it was before.

This

essay will thoroughly discuss the

issues

that come with

this

trend and present some practical solutions in

order

to correctly address the problems. On the one hand, several

issues

may arise when elderly people experience a longer lifespan after

retirement

First

of all, it is a sad truth but the elderly group does indeed place a heavy burden on the economy.

This

is due to the fact that they are no longer required to work, which means that their contribution to the economy is greatly decreased.

In addition

, financial assistance

such

as pensions is a necessity for many elders in

order

to sustain themselves, which can lead to impacts on the economy as more and more money is poured into these welfares.

Secondly

this

phenomenon can result in negative effects on the healthcare system. Because, as people get older, the more they are prone to health

issues

such

as sickness and diseases.

Therefore

this

trend would contribute to the high demand for healthcare services, which could lead to detrimental situations

such

as overcrowded hospitals. Fortunately, a number of solutions could be adopted in

order

to address the issue effectively.

Firstly

, the government should consider the possibility of raising the age of

retirement

. While

this

may cause many controversies, it is still an effective method in

order

to lessen the burden on

government’s

Correct article usage

the government’s

show examples

social welfare spending.

In addition

, laws regarding the determination of

retirement

age should be changed to be based on one’s ability to continue working, rather than their actual age.

Secondly

, more consideration should be given to nursing houses. As nursing houses present

itself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

as a perfect solution for

this

trend.

This

is due to the fact that when elders live in these homes, they can gain access to health services and have someone to take care of them, reassuring their safety and health, which means they would not be a burden on the healthcare systems. And to turn

this

into reality, the government should encourage private investment to make nursing homes more appealing and affordable. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to address the

issues

that are certain to arise as the life expectancy of the elderly after

retirement

continue

Correct subject-verb agreement

continues

show examples

to rise.

Submitted by nghiemthanhlong432005 on Fri Aug 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

392 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?