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Writing Samples
Band 4

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #people #crime #education #criminals
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These days
crimes
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 are increasing and prison is about to be full of
criminals
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, There are ideas which is if
people
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 were to receive better
education
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, it would prevent them from
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
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crimes
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 and becoming
criminals
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 and eventually they will be put in prison.
This
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 essay will discuss the aspects of
this
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 subject.
Firstly
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, Humans have a wonderful
soul
Fix the agreement mistake
souls
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 which prevents them to be like a ghost and commit
crimes
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 if they could control it with a helpful atmosphere of the living.
For instance
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, If
people
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 were growing up and got a better
education
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 in a calm life, they wouldn't even think about committing a crime. So that's why I support giving teenagers a good and helpful atmosphere and staying with them. Unfortunately, some
people
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 who were occurred something bad for them, think that prison is the solution for
criminals
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, but sometimes
this
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 way is not the right way
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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government
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to deal with them through it.
In addition
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,
instead
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 of prisons, they should get a good knowledge of general things and
instead
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 of having lots of
crimes
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 and
criminals
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 in countries, we could prevent that by offering a perfect
education
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 for
people
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. In conclusion, I believe that we have to give the
criminals
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 another chance in
this
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 life and offer
for
Change preposition
apply
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them a way to improve their minds and to don't be late the governments around the world should offer a useful
education
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 to develop
people
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's ideas and help them to find their right ways.
Submitted by rayaallafe on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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