IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days
crimes
Use synonyms
 are increasing and prison is about to be full of
criminals
Use synonyms
, There are ideas which is if
people
Use synonyms
 were to receive better
education
Use synonyms
, it would prevent them from
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
 and becoming
criminals
Use synonyms
 and eventually they will be put in prison.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the aspects of
this
Linking Words
 subject.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Humans have a wonderful
soul
Fix the agreement mistake
souls
show examples
 which prevents them to be like a ghost and commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 if they could control it with a helpful atmosphere of the living.
For instance
Linking Words
, If
people
Use synonyms
 were growing up and got a better
education
Use synonyms
 in a calm life, they wouldn't even think about committing a crime. So that's why I support giving teenagers a good and helpful atmosphere and staying with them. Unfortunately, some
people
Use synonyms
 who were occurred something bad for them, think that prison is the solution for
criminals
Use synonyms
, but sometimes
this
Linking Words
 way is not the right way
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
government
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to deal with them through it.
In addition
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of prisons, they should get a good knowledge of general things and
instead
Linking Words
 of having lots of
crimes
Use synonyms
 and
criminals
Use synonyms
 in countries, we could prevent that by offering a perfect
education
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that we have to give the
criminals
Use synonyms
 another chance in
this
Linking Words
 life and offer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them a way to improve their minds and to don't be late the governments around the world should offer a useful
education
Use synonyms
 to develop
people
Use synonyms
's ideas and help them to find their right ways.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: