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In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #people #crime #education #criminals
These days
crimes
 are increasing and prison is about to be full of
criminals
, There are ideas which is if
people
 were to receive better
education
, it would prevent them from
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
crimes
 and becoming
criminals
 and eventually they will be put in prison.
This
 essay will discuss the aspects of
this
 subject.
Firstly
, Humans have a wonderful
soul
Fix the agreement mistake
souls
show examples
 which prevents them to be like a ghost and commit
crimes
 if they could control it with a helpful atmosphere of the living.
For instance
, If
people
 were growing up and got a better
education
 in a calm life, they wouldn't even think about committing a crime. So that's why I support giving teenagers a good and helpful atmosphere and staying with them. Unfortunately, some
people
 who were occurred something bad for them, think that prison is the solution for
criminals
, but sometimes
this
 way is not the right way
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
government
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to deal with them through it.
In addition
,
instead
 of prisons, they should get a good knowledge of general things and
instead
 of having lots of
crimes
 and
criminals
 in countries, we could prevent that by offering a perfect
education
 for
people
. In conclusion, I believe that we have to give the
criminals
 another chance in
this
 life and offer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them a way to improve their minds and to don't be late the governments around the world should offer a useful
education
 to develop
people
's ideas and help them to find their right ways.
Submitted by rayaallafe on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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