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Writing Samples
Band 7

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #people #crime #education #criminals
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These days crimes are increasing and prison is about to be full of
criminals
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, There are ideas which is if people were to receive better education, it would prevent them from committing crimes and becoming
criminals
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 and eventually they will be put in prison.
This
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 essay will discuss the aspects of
this
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 subject and explain my perspective.
Firstly
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, Humans have wonderful souls which prevent them to be like a ghost and making big mistakes if they could control it with a great mind who learned how to deal with their life and a helpful atmosphere of the living.
For instance
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, If society were growing up and got a better education in a calm life, they wouldn't even think about committing a crime. So that's why I support giving teenagers a good and useful atmosphere and staying with them. Unfortunately, some people who were occurred something bad for them, think that prison is the solution for
criminals
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, but sometimes
this
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way
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 is not the right
way
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 which government should deal with them through it.
In addition
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,
instead
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 of prisons, they should get a good knowledge of general things and
instead
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 of having lots of crimes and
criminals
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 in countries, we could prevent that by offering a perfect education for the community. In conclusion, I believe that we have to give the
criminals
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 another chance in
this
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 life and offer them a
way
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 to improve their minds and to don't be late the governments around the world should offer the greatest
way
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 for studying in schools to develop people's ideas and help them to find their right ways.
Submitted by rayaallafe on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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