Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Retaining world

peace

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is a challenge these days. Many argue that

sports

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events

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conducted at an international level might cultivate

peace

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among countries. I completely disagree with

this

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statement because international

sports

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events

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not only develop enmity among the people but

also

Linking Words

paves

Correct subject-verb agreement

pave

show examples

way

Correct article usage

the way

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for hatred in one's own

country

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upon losing a match. Though many

events

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conducted for

sports

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bring together people and governments, it only creates rivalry within the audience.

This

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is because, in the name of showing support, observers tend to split into groups resulting in arguments and comments during the match resulting in fights within themselves. In multi-cultural countries

such

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as India, where people from different religions live together, during

sports

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events

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like cricket matches, disputes will be created in the name of support

thus

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breaking the

peace

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that has been prevailing in the

country

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Moreover

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, when the

country

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being supported loses the match, out of dejection, the fans develop hatred for the players which in turn gets projected onto the

country

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As a result

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, violence breaks out at key locations of the nation leading to a lack of

peace

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within it, leading to pressure on the law enforcement department to control the anger outbursts.

For instance

Linking Words

, during a cricket match in 2009, when India lost against Pakistan, a huge mass gathered in front of India's cricket team

caption

Wrong verb form

captioned

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and

Correct word choice

apply

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protests outbroke in front of his house leading to

nuisance

Correct article usage

a nuisance

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to the public and damaging the

country

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's reputation. In conclusion, despite countries being brought together to play matches,

this

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does not result in world

peace

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as games not only create a rift among the supporters of different teams but

also

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result in violence within the

country

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if a loss is faced.

swathi.testemailSat Aug 06 2022

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task response

The essay lacks a clear position on the given statement. The opinion needs to be explicitly stated in the introduction and supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical progression of ideas in the essay is weak. There is a lack of clear topic sentences and linking words to connect ideas.

lexical resource

The range of vocabulary and use of collocations is limited. Use of more varied and appropriate vocabulary is necessary to improve the lexical resource.

grammatical range

While the essay demonstrates control of a range of grammatical structures, there are frequent errors that affect communication. More attention to sentence structure and grammar is required.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
world peace
international sporting events
understanding
unity
cultural exchange
diplomacy
shared purpose
common goals
reduce tensions
conflicts
positive nationalism
fair play
sportsmanship
teamwork
collaboration
break down stereotypes
prejudice
dialogue
communication

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Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenager. Therefore , Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all the students in all school. What do you think?

some people belive that unpaid community service should be a compulsary part of high school programmes. to what extent do you agree or disagree