Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,
workplace
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engagement is a major focus in modern society.
Consequently
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, some people argue that a job should provide a social life
in addition
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to a salary,
while
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others believe it is better to build friendships outside of the working environment.
This
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essay will discuss both viewpoints before concluding that
while
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workplace
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relationships are valuable, maintaining an outside social circle is essential. On the one hand, a job can significantly expand a person's social network. The primary benefit of
socializing
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socialising
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at work is that employees frequently collaborate on projects and meet tight deadlines together. Through
this
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shared mutual cooperation, colleagues often develop strong bonds and become close friends.
Furthermore
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, these relationships create a supportive environment where people can communicate freely and share daily experiences, making the
workplace
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feel less like a rigid structure and more like a community.
On the other hand
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, relying solely on colleagues for a social life can be detrimental
due to
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workplace
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competition. In many modern corporate environments, employees are competing for promotions, reputation, and influence.
This
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intense competition can sometimes lead to toxic situations,
such
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as colleagues stealing credit for achievements or acting unfairly.
Consequently
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, friendships built in
this
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environment can quickly turn into stressful rivalries. Because of
this
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, many argue it is healthier to develop friendships entirely separate from work. Friends outside the office provide an escape from professional stress and allow individuals to connect over shared hobbies rather than just work-related tasks. In conclusion, mixing work and social life is a double-edged sword.
While
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the
workplace
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can be an excellent venue for building a social network and finding mutual support, the inherent competition can drag individuals down and cause burnout.
Therefore
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, I believe that
while
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a job provides essential income and baseline daily connection, people should actively cultivate their primary social lives outside of the office to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

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task response
Score: 8. Your answer is on topic and well developed. To reach 9, add one small real-life example for each view. For example, say how a team meal can help new workers, or how a sports club can help a person meet friends outside work.
task response
Your own view is clear, but make it even more direct. Say that work friends are useful, yet people should not make them their main or only social group.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 8. The order of ideas is very clear. Still, some links repeat the same cause-and-result pattern. Use shorter, more direct links at times, such as “Also”, “But”, or “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are long. Split them into two shorter sentences so that each idea is easier to read. This will make the flow even smoother.
task response
You discuss both views clearly and give your own view in the first and last parts.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: work friends can give support, but friends outside work can help people rest from work stress.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: introduction, first view, second view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, “Consequently”, and “In conclusion” guide the reader well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income
  • Social network
  • Colleagues
  • Emotional support
  • Teamwork
  • Work-related challenges
  • Collaborative projects
  • Workplace events
  • Professional growth
  • Mentorships
  • Career advancement
  • Social life
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Diverse social life
  • Perspectives
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Personal development
  • Professional life
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