IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #role #child #development #television #friends #influence
Many individuals believe that mother and father play the most crucial role in a child's growth. Whereas others think that companions and media have a greater influence on a kid's nurturing.
This
 essay deliberates how
parents
 can control their
children
's development, and how the outer world can be detrimental to their growth. to commence with, having a role model in the form of a parent has an immense impact on how young individuals would grow. As a consequence,
children
 would never be influenced by others. Since they would have the utmost regard for their guardian's concern and affection.
Furthermore
,
parents
 have the ultimate power to foster their kids the way they want, by inculcating good values from a delicate age.
For instance
, kids who grow up implementing necessary deeds of life, become sincere and innocent individuals.
However
, it can only be attained when
parents
 take the responsibility of growing their
children
 into good humans. On the flip side,
television
 and
friends
 can sometimes overpower the lessons taught by
parents
, who are their sole well-wishers. Crime shows that are being broadcasted on
television
 glorifies serious crimes like murder, and tobacco consumption.
As a result
, young and naive
children
 adopt these actions, thinking it will make them look cool and powerful.
Friends
,
on the other hand
, can drag each other into some life-threatening addictions.
For example
, young students nowadays are more indulged in smoking and drinking than ever before, because of the bad company they spend time with.
As a result
, diseases like asthma have more common among
children
 these days In my opinion,
friends
,
parents
 and media are equally responsible for an optimistic development of a child. Kids, these days spend lesser time with their
parents
 and more time with either
friends
Change to a singular noun
friend
show examples
 or consuming content through phone or
television
.
However
 pessimistic sides can be avoided if
parents
 have control over their
children
 by being friendly and understanding with them. In conclusion,
parents
 have the authority to inculcate good deeds in
children
, by acting like their role models. companions and
television
,
on the other hand
, can create a huge impact on
children
's growth.
However
, it can be avoided if
parents
 act responsibly and rationally.
Submitted by nidhisabharwal0218 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: