Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of

people

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turning to cosmetic

surgery

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This

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phenomenon is caused by various reasons

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it has stirred up many heated arguments on whether cosmetic

surgery

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is a positive or negative trend. Personally, I see myself siding with the former.

People

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’s recent preference for cosmetic

surgery

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is said to stem from a number of factors.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the higher demand for plastic

surgery

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due to

Linking Words

the

fact

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that nowadays,

people

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seem to care more about their physical

appearance

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than ever before

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

such

Linking Words

, they develop a desire to look more attractive.

Therefore

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, when

this

Linking Words

mindset is taken into consideration, it is not difficult to explain why there is a rapid growth in the number of

people

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undertaking plastic operations.

In addition

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, the incredible and meteoric development of technology in recent times

further

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contributes to the widespread use of cosmetic procedures. The

utilization

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utilisation

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of highly advanced machinery undoubtedly results in increased efficiency, quality,

as well as

Linking Words

safety, allowing patients to put more trust in the process. In my opinion, an individual's wish to become more beautiful is not something that should be

criticized

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criticised

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or ridiculed

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, owning

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owning

Use the right word

owing

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thank

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apply

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to the

fact

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that

Fix capitalization

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attractive and pleasing physical

appearance

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can be greatly beneficial,

such

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as remarkably boosting a person’s confidence and self-esteem, or improving one’s sense of happiness.

Consequently

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, I am convinced cosmetic

surgery

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is a viable method for those who want to refine their looks.

Nevertheless

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, it is unwise to abuse plastic

surgery

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, as overusing

this

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method can lead to various health issues. When an individual undertakes a plethora of operations, an exceedingly large quantity of risks will become apparent

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;

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these consequences include blood loss, organ damage or even more horrifying, death. In conclusion, in recent times, cosmetic

surgery

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has greatly soared in popularity, mostly thanks to the

fact

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people

Correct word choice

that people

show examples

are becoming more and more conscious of their outward

appearance

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. In my point of view, the

fact

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that

people

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can have their ideal

appearance

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through cosmetic operations is a positive development, though it would be completely inappropriate to heavily overuse it.

nghiemthanhlong432005

Aug 7, 2022

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task response

Plan your essay. Say your main idea first, then give each part in order.

coherence

Link ideas with small words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'then' to help flow.

grammar

Fix grammar and feel. Short and clean sentences are easier to read.

lexical

Use simple words. Do not use very long or hard words.

content

Give clear examples for the big point and avoid too much text.

strength

The writer shows a clear view from the start to the end.

strength

The essay gives reasons and a good look at both sides.

strength

There is a conclusion that repeats the main idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

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Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that certain old buildings that are historically important in cities or the countryside should be preserved. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.