IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

#people #money #time #quality #life
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There is a popular belief
in
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to
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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several people adhere
to
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apply
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that discusses [a]the supremacy of
money
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 over other aspects that symbolizes contentment. From my perspective, each and every human being should learn the importance of balancing these two aspects in
life
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.
This
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 essay will consider both views
as well as supporting reasons on how balancing these two aspects
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, as well as supporting reasons on how balancing these two aspects,
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 can improve
one
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's welfare.
Money
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 is indeed a crucial factor that contributes to an individual's
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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,
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however
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,however
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 spending quality
time
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 in
life
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 through various activities 
are
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is
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 [b]often overlooked by not only those proponents who attach t[c][d]
heir
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their
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 happiness with
money
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. Cash is an essential asset used to trade for food, water, rent, house, furniture, education, entertainment, etc.
Moreover
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, the more valued
one
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's properties are, the more they feel empowered.
Thus
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,
this
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 makes
laborers
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labourers
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 slavishly worship the fortune's tormenting potency that it seemingly introduces.
In addition
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, there is
a
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apply
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prevalent disbelief existing within mortals stating that if
one
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 possesses
great
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the great
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 value of
money
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, they shall possess any other ordinary objects. All of these add to the fact that they often neglect
spending
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to spend
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 actual quality
time
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 performing acts which they would rather enjoy.
However
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, from a modern standpoint, to achieve the utmost satisfaction in
life
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,
one
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 must be financially stable, not only must
one
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 be capable of self-nourishment but
also
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 have the ability
of
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to
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 provision. Having an adequate budget will certainly provide
one
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 with basic needs in
life
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. Regardless of how wealth can supply our desiderata, experience is what truly forms gratification.
In other words
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, genuine happiness derives from the way we allocate free
time
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 in order to achieve self-actualization.
For instance
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, we may handle those available occasions with loved ones or implement amusing exercises. In conclusion, to obtain self-realization and pleasure,
one
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 must balance
between
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apply
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wealth and the events
in
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of
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 their
time
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being
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apply
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.
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